Any instrument can be used or misused. The knife can be used by a surgeon to save life or by a murderer to kill. It is the purpose and motive for which an instrument is used that determines its moral rightness. The cell phone can be used with stewardship for the expansion of Gods kingdom on this earth and for the glory of God. When used in such a manner, the cell phone is a valuable gift of God. The misuse and abuse of the cell phone can however lead to consequences that may even alter our lives forever. Therefore it is only appropriate that we devote careful thought to how we use the cell phone in an age that may well be defined by the predominance of this one instrument.
As students, the cell phone is often gifted by parents, either because the child demanded it or because the parents felt it was necessary. In either case, students should not forget that the primary purpose for which the cell phone has been given to them is to enable the parents to call them, talk to them and find out their welfare/whereabouts or for the student to be able to communicate something to his or her parents, either in an emergency or a non-emergency situation.
It is good for all students to pause for a while and ask themselves, how much proportion of their cell phone talk time is actually devoted to this primary purpose for which the cell phone was originally gifted to them. An honest answer to this question will give an indication as to whether they are being stewards or not.
Some students may object saying, ‘I do not have anything to talk to my parents so often’. Well, it is good to learn the habit of keeping your parents updated of what is happening in your life. This habit doesn’t just happen by accident. It has to be cultivated. If cultivated, this habit will actually serve the student well, because it would actually be developing the fine art of sustaining a long term relationship that needs to be intimate at its very core. Many young people, who get married with great expectations of a life of intimacy with their spouse, end up being disappointed simply because they haven’t learned how to cultivate a long term intimate relationship with their own parents.
Cell phones have facilitated instant communications, caring and sharing of needs and prayer requests. The sense of belonging within a gang has been greatly enhanced in this age of cell phone connectivity. Travel time or waiting time can be effectively used for sending short messages of enquiry and encouragement to lonely and needy souls. Cell phones have enabled students to seek counsel from mentors at the very moment of need. On the other side of the coin, the facility to communicate instantly with those who care for us has also made believers prone to making their needs known to others rather than to God Himself by prayer.
Misuse of cell phones among students usually occurs in the context of boy-girl relationships. As a thumb rule, I recommend that students learn to cultivate multiple, equidistant and holy relationships with students of the opposite sex and refrain from any friendships that have the slightest hint of romance. One should examine ones own heart and find out if there is any special love fluttering there for any particular person in the opposite sex. One can easily decipher the vibes and cues of romantic love in the callers’ words, tone and frequency of calls. If you find that any one relationship with a person of the opposite sex is becoming closer/more intimate than your relationships with other persons of the opposite sex, you are moving into danger zone. Realign yourself immediately. We should never assume that we are strong enough and would not fall. Even David, the man after Gods’ own heart, fell.
It has been suggested that believer students should be careful in their communications with the opposite sex not to cross from level 2 to level 3 in the following continuum: (1) Information (2) Opinions (3) Emotions (4) Total Transparency. When level 2 has been crossed by the person who is calling, the recipient would be wise to immediately redirect the call to a more mature person of the same sex as the caller. Don’t think that by doing so, you would be considered an unloving person. Level 3 and 4 are to be reserved for your spouse/married mentor/same sex confidant.
Many naive believer students have got sucked into campus romance by not being cautious in the use of cell phones. Some have got so attached with their lovers that now they cannot even think of separating. They have destroyed their own testimony in the campus and made it difficult for other believing students to testify of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Some naïve believer students have been taken for a ride and have got ditched by their own lovers who were only seeking to satisfy their own lustful desires in a temporary ‘hit and go’ romance under the guise of brother-sister fellowship in Christian love. They bear irreparable emotional scars of broken relationships and the whole episode has very adversely affected their academic performance. All this could have been avoided if they had been a little cautious.
One must realise that the human tendency to confide and to shed our masks is more in a non face-to-face setting provided for when the two are connected over the cell phone. In such situations we tend to freely allow our minds to go into an imaginary world of fantasy. It is due to the same reason that many young people share more about themselves to an anonymous person they have not seen before in Orkut and Facebook sites.
Those believer students who were fortunate enough to come out of cell phone facilitated campus romance have the following advice to give us. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
- Cell phone affairs almost invariably begin by ‘just being friends’
- One partner has a ‘need’ and the other partner offers to help in meeting that ‘need’ by serving on a ‘rescue mission’, which may mean nothing more than just being an empathetic and caring listener
- Often the ‘need’ is a bait put by the one who is trying to woo the other person
- Frequency of calls + Sharing of Feelings + Time = Sweethearts for Sure
- Offers like ‘free talk time after 11 pm’ or ‘free sms’ have facilitated campus romance. We ought to be careful not to become victims of the marketing stratagems of Cell Phone providers
- The camera/video options of the handset are also to be used with discretion.
- When being called by a fellow student of the opposite sex don’t move to a lonely place. Stay in the midst of accountable people/elders and inform the caller that you don’t intend to move out. This will control the content of your communications.
- Some believer students who were struggling to come out of hooked relationships have even gone to the extent of handing over their handsets to accountable others in their hostels to screen incoming calls and messages.
- When receiving a call from an unknown number, seek first for the identity of the caller. If the caller refuses to reveal his/her identity, cut the call.
- When receiving prank calls, save the number as X, Y, or Z and do not answer calls from those numbers.
Cell phones have been found to be the primary culprit in the making of extra-marital relationships and consequently in the breaking of many marriages. So learning to use the cell phone appropriately during your student days will prepare you to protect your own married life later.
The health hazards of long term and continues cell phone radiation is a much debated subject. It is here that abuse may occur. God wants us to protect our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Use of ear phones is recommended especially for long calls.
Another issue that needs to be addressed is which model of handset you should purchase. Students often succumb to peer pressure in making this choice. The purpose for which we intend to use the cell phone should determine the facilities we need. Our need should be defined by our use and our purse. Stylish, email optimised handsets may be an asset for some, especially globe trotting professionals. But just going for the latest high end model merely to keep up with the Joneses is not in the spirit of Christian stewardship.
Some young people have several cell phones: one for their parents to call, one for their boy friends to call and yet another for their girl friends to call; one for incoming calls and another for outgoing calls. I cannot be a judge about your need for these many handsets, but you can judge yourself before God in terms of stewardship and how prone you are to becoming a cell phone addict!
In the final analysis, how we use or misuse our cell phone is known only to God and may we learn to walk before Him with a clear conscience even in this age of mobile gadgetry.
What is most important is not allowing our cell phone use become a hindrance in our connectivity with the Heavenly Father who waits eagerly for our calls and extended talk time. Through Jesus Christ, there is never congestion in the network. All talk time is free. Your Heavenly Father waits for you, with open arms…Did you talk to Him today? Do not allow any guilt feelings of not having talked to Him in the recent past prevent you. Even if you only ‘miss call’ Him, He would surely and certainly respond!
Only He can ultimately satisfy the deepest cravings of our hearts longing for intimacy that we try to quench by our network of friendships. May we be able to say: ‘Where my Shepherd leads me, there I will follow!’
