Drawing the line between needs, wants and luxuries

Some things we ‘need’, some things we ‘want’, and some things are ‘luxuries’.

First let us define the terms: (1) Needs are basic requirements indispensable for our existence. Food, clothing and shelter are the most basic necessities. (2) Luxuries on the other hand are possessions or facilities desirable for comfort or enjoyment, but are not indispensable. We can live without them. (3) Wants are desires or wishes. They may be rightful, wrong or misplaced.

Where and how do we draw the line?
The Apostle Paul knew how to live on both sides of whatever line that could be drawn. He said ‘I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.’ (Philippians 4:12) He further instructed those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God. At they same time he acknowledged that God richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. (1Timothy 6:17). These verses are the guiding principles. Let me illustrate. I have no problem travelling as a standing passenger in an unreserved compartment of a rushed train. But if I do have the choice and the money I may even opt to travel by the Air Conditioned Chair Car. Doing so may give me the much needed time and comfort of doing some reading or preparations for my next preaching assignment. Or it may just give me the much needed rest that my body needs before going full throttle again when reach my destination. For many of us now-a-days ‘time’ is a far more precious commodity than ‘money’ because time is not a renewable resource. We are to be good stewards of our resources. So ultimately we make a spiritually expedient choice taking into consideration various factors.

Who is to draw the line?
Needs should be defined by ‘use’. One person’s ‘need’ may be another person’s ‘luxury’. So we have to decide for ourselves what is for us a ‘need’ and what is a ‘luxury’. And when we have done so in the most expedient manner we would neither be an offence to the ministry or to another. He who is spiritual judges (evaluates) all things, yet he himself is judged by no one. (1Corinthians 2:15)

Can we draw lines for others?
Why do you draw the lines (judge) for your brother? Or also why do you despise (look down upon) your brother for having drawn a line that is different from yours? All of us shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ. (Romans 14:10)

Are we to judge the lines others have drawn?
Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. But he will stand, for God is able to make him stand. (Romans 14:4)

Ultimately what decides the rightness or wrongness of a ‘want’ is the motive behind that desire or wish. Is it to glorify God? Is it to enhance ones own status or position in society? Is it simply an act of self indulgence? Is it merely a show of extravagance? Is it hedonistic? (Hedonism is the belief that pleasure is the highest good and ultimate aim of all of mankind’s pursuits). Each one of us will have to answer to ourselves before God.

Our ‘wants’ must be subject to our ‘means’. Never should it be necessary for us to live on borrowed money, except in unanticipated emergencies. As our ‘means’ (income) increases our ‘wants’ (not necessarily our ‘needs’) tend to increase. If there are certain possessions that we own but haven’t used for the past one year, we really do not ‘need’ them. It is good do an exercise of annual stock taking and give away those unneeded possessions. Jesus Christ taught: ‘Watch and keep yourselves from covetousness. For a man's life is not in the abundance of the things which he possesses’. (Luke 12:15)

(This article written by me was originally published in Our Contact, Magazine of the Union of Evangelical Students of India – Kerala in 2008)

Celebrating Differences

I was born and brought up as a Non Resident Indian. My wife, Soly, was born and brought up in conservative rural Kerala. I am comfortable with English. Soly prefers Malayalam. So our conversations are almost always bilingual. I like to talk systematically, rationally and logically. Soly rightly believes that the rules of diplomatic apologetics need not apply on husband-wife conversations. My biological clock is such that I am most alive and kicking from 9 pm onwards. I could go on doing productive work well beyond mid night. But I wake up late. Soly, on the other hand is the early to bed and early to wake type. While she would be up very early in the morning, going full throttle on routine household chores, I would be snoring off to glory! I like fresh salads and boiled vegetables. Soly likes those foods which have been cooked laboriously with coconut fried, ground and made into a paste. I enjoy soft melancholic instrumental music. When Soly hears that music she would ask: who had died for there to be so much of mourning in the house! I operate in such a manner that I am always very early for an appointment. Soly believes in Japanese style ‘just in time’ or German style ‘before it’s too late’ arrivals. I believe that the tooth paste tube is to be pressed from bottom up. Soly believes it’s the fat portion of the tube has been specifically designed to be pressed! And so it can go on and on… the differences between us are plenty, but we are married 20 years now and still going strong!

Whether a couples differences are hereditary, cultural, environmental or Gods design doesn’t really matter much. What does matter is that the two marriage partners learn to accept the differences in order to have a harmonious marriage relationship. Each difference is really quite minor in and of itself, but as the differences accumulate they often become sources of irritation. Many people seem to feel that differences in marriage are simply to be endured. In fact, “incompatibility” is one of the most frequent excuses for divorce.

What we would like you to do is to sit down with your wife or husband and list all the differences you have between you. Then have a meeting with the Lord Jesus Christ when you present your lists to Him. Thank Him for making your mate so different, so he or she can be a completer to you by adding strengths you don’t have. When you celebrate the differences, your marriage will take on a whole new meaning, and conflicts over differences will begin to fade away as you accept each other right where you are. Give up the old game of trying to bring about change in your spouse. There is only one person that you can change and that’s none other than yourself! Let us enjoy and celebrate the differences!

(This article was written by me as Chairperson, Regional Executive Team, Urban India Ministry, Kerala for its News Letter in 2008)