We need to explore misconceptions about manhood, and also offer insights into what it means to be a genuine—and masculine—man of God.
‘I was born male’, writes Joe Stowell, ‘But early in life I learned that this didn't necessarily make me a man. I realized this the first time somebody said, "Joe, be a man!" It was probably when I'd started crying or refused to eat my spinach.
Discovering what it meant to be a "man" became more urgent as I grew through adolescence. I learned that it meant being tough and athletic, never saying I was sorry or admitting I was wrong. Real men don't cry. They woo women, work hard, and win. Today I've reached my mid-century but find the cultural expectations of manhood as challenging and confusing as ever. There's the macho Die Hard man, the mild-mannered sensitive man, the Monday Night Football man, and the cunning marketplace man who cruises the corporate stream like a shark. These contrasting portraits make many of us feel, at best, insecure about our manhood.
The Best Example Ever
"One of the many things I love about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ," writes Joe Stowell, "is that [Jesus] cuts through all the cultural confusion and leads me to a focused, singular agenda of true manhood. This agenda doesn't necessarily lead us men to society's definition of success. But it does bring great significance."
It is our privilege as redeemed men to allow Christ to emerge through us, through the particular qualities we have as men. But many of us fear that. We're afraid that if we fully yield the reins of our life to Christ, he'll take away our manhood. Victims of a demasculinized portrait of Christ, we've forgotten that his blend of divinity and humanity was expressed through his existence as a man. He was the perfect expression of manhood. While that meant he had a compassionate side, he also displayed strength and power—enough to attract strong men to give up their careers and personal ambitions and follow him.
Jesus Christ doesn't at all diminish our manhood. He emerges through the distinct qualities of our maleness to create a fuller and richer expression of what a man can be. He redefines our manhood by replacing the motivations of the world with new guidelines for success. He directs our manhood along the path of ultimate significance. He takes our instincts—to protect, provide, conquer, and accumulate—and points them in productive directions. He becomes the central control system of our life that dictates all that we do, are, and hope to become.
Examine: When I think about what it means to be a real man of God, these words come readily to my mind: …
How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression.—D.H. Lawrence (British author)
Meek Not Weak
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height …. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
Rick Johnson writing in ‘The Power of a Man’ says: I have a great friend who is a physician. On the outside he appears to be a very soft-spoken, gentle man. He is a healer, a nurturer. He is slight of build, polite, and physically unimposing. At first glance he would not strike one as particularly masculine. You would never expect him to be a dynamic leader of his family and community. Yet he leads his family with passion, conviction, and love. He and his wife have raised a family of gifted, emotionally healthy children who have benefited greatly by his steady guidance and firm resolution. His enthusiasm toward life is contagious. He mentors medical students and works with and supports a variety of nonprofits. He is filled with a steel-hard character that allowed him to overcome setbacks and disappointments that would have dropped a lesser man to his knees. Yet he faces them with grace, dignity, and a positive attitude of perseverance and faith that inspires me to be stronger myself. Were I to judge him by outward appearances, I would likely have missed the experience of learning a great lesson about masculinity: It is about what's inside a man—not necessarily about how he looks or acts, poses and posture, or presents himself—that counts.
Examine: How have I bought into the idea that manhood is about being tough?
The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough. - Germaine Greer (Australian writer)
The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion.—A.W. Tozer
Authentic Masculinity
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. (Isaiah 1:17)
Manhood, as defined by the Bible, requires men to put the best interests of others before their own. It's about living sacrificially. A man uses his strength and influence to help others and defend those who cannot defend themselves. Read how manly [these words spoken by Job] sound and how they speak powerfully to a man's heart: "I rescue the poor who cry for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him. … I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger. I broke the fangs of the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth"(Job 29:12-17, NIV).
Authentic men are passionate, fierce, and noble—they care. In fact, they are dangerous. You might not see this passion on the exterior, but it's bubbling under pressure just beneath the surface, forcing its way into every area of their lives. They have a spiritual longing for adventure, for a battle to fight that's bigger than themselves, for significance in their lives. Like modern-day gladiators, they stand in the ring facing challenges with courage and passion.
When you see a man with a passion for something bigger and nobler than himself, you are looking authentic masculinity in the eye.
What battle that's bigger than myself might God be calling me to fight?
Thought to Apply: No man has ever risen to the real stature of spiritual manhood until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself.—Woodrow Wilson
