Honouring Parents – The Jesus Way

There are many commandments in the Bible. Some of them have a promise attached. For example, in Mathew 6:33 Jesus Christ commands us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. The promise attached to this commandment is that all our basic needs will be met. The first such commandment in the Bible to have a promise attached to it is the commandment to honour your father and mother.  The promise attached is that it would be well with us and that we may live long on earth. (Ephesians 6: 2,3). There is also a lot in the Book of Proverbs that can give us further insight on how to honour our parents.

Honour means to regard with great respect. We are to hold our parents in high esteem at all ages of our life. Children (those who are below 18) are admonished in the Scriptures, not only to honour but also to obey their parents. There is however a rider…we must obey our parents in the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1). The implications of these carefully drawn scriptural lines are that (1) when there is a conflict between Gods will/desire and our parents will/desire we are to choose Gods will over our parents desires (2) There is a difference between honouring and obedience. (3) It is possible to disobey our parents in order to obey the Lord, but yet we must be able to do so in a manner that still ensures that we hold our parents in high esteem.

Jesus Christ at the age of 12 experienced a conflict of interest with his earthly parents. This is beautifully described for us in Luke 2:41-51. It was customary for the Joseph-Mary family to go to Jerusalem every year during the feast of the Passover. When boy Jesus had attained the age of 12, he too accompanied them to Jerusalem. After the celebrations, when Joseph and Mary were returning from Jerusalem, they assumed that boy Jesus was also with the company of their friends and relatives who were all in the returning team. It was only after a full day’s journey that Joseph and Mary realised that Jesus was missing. They searched for Him among their relatives and friends, but he was not to be found. Anxiously they rushed back to Jerusalem, searching for Jesus. It was only after three long anxious days that they finally found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both hearing them and questioning them.

At that point of time Mary, who was by now understandably very stressed, asks Jesus: ‘Child, why have you done so to us? Behold, your father and I have looked for you, greatly distressed.’ The tone very clearly implied an accusation that Jesus must have been well aware that his family and relatives were already on their way back home, while he seems to have deliberately chosen to stay back for a time of spiritual learning at the temple. In our terms he had stayed back for a three day EU Camp without the explicit knowledge of his parents. When confronted by his mom, Jesus makes an assertion that left his parents bewildered. Instead of giving his mom an answer, he asks back a question: Why did you look for me? Jesus then goes on to chide their failure to discern the priorities of his life. For Jesus tells his mom in no uncertain terms: ‘Do you not know that I must be about My Father's business? And they did not understand him.

Dearly beloved brother/sister, do your parents fail to understand you? Jesus has experienced that too…he has been there…he understands you. Are you pained that your parents do not see your spiritual priorities and cannot appreciate your compulsion to be at the gathering of the EU-EGF? Jesus has been there…he knows how it feels to be denied permission.

In Luke 2:51  we read, that even though the conflict of desires had come out into the open between Jesus and his parents, Jesus being the child that he was at the age of 12 chose to make his point but yet he obliged to go back with his parents and remain subject to them.

Many years later at the beginning of his public ministry, we find Jesus again at loggerheads with his mom. This time the occasion was the marriage at Cana. It was a time of celebration. The wine got over. Knowing well that Jesus could intervene to solve the crisis, his mom, Mary approached him. But as is often between mother and son, a crossed transaction takes place before Jesus finally obliging to intervene. Refusing to address Mary as mom, Jesus said to her: ‘Woman, what do I have to do with you? My hour has not yet come.’ (John 2:4). It was almost like saying: Mom, I am an adult now. Don’t interfere in my life. Having said that, he did however oblige his mother with a miracle that made water into wine.

On another occasion, (Mathew 12:46-50), someone said to Jesus, ‘Behold, your mother and your brothers stand outside, desiring to speak with you. And He answered and said to him who told him, Who is my mother? And who are my brothers? And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, Behold, my mother and my brothers! For whoever shall do the will of my Father in Heaven, the same is my brother and sister and mother. I can liken the situation to a case where a grown up son or daughter has got involved in ministry that he or she did not have enough talk time with parents and siblings. I can almost hear the echo of some parents asking their children: Is God’s ministry more important to you than us? Jesus understands from his own experience with his earthly family how difficult it is to strike a proper balance between ministry and family.

It is very evident in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ that he did not allow his respect and regard for his earthly parents to prevent him from doing Gods will. He was very assertive about this and he directed his love and time towards those who indeed were obedient to Gods will. In our terms, this stance translates as valuing those who are related by the blood of Christ over and above those who are only blood relatives.

Jesus Christ knew very well that the biggest challenge in the walk of a disciple would be from one’s own home. He minced no words in stating this up front: ‘Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

And a man's foes shall be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.’ (Mathew 10:34-37)

Unfortunately, these truths are not often taught today. Any conflict between parents and children pertaining to doing Gods will is often brushed aside in the pretext of honouring parents. This is far from the truths revealed in the Scriptures and far from the experience of Jesus Christ himself. Honouring our parents should never be at the cost of being obedient to Gods will.

In our culture, it is interesting to note that people have no qualms in leaving their aged parents in order to pursue a lucrative job in USA or the Arabian Gulf countries. At the same time, so much of hue and cry will be made if a newly married husband chooses to leave his parents’ house in order to be obedient to the often repeated (Genesis 2:24; Mathew 19:5; Mark 10:7 & Ephesians 5:31) injunction in Scripture to leave and to cleave. Leaving at the time of marriage involves a leaving of headship (decision-making – the husband and wife take the decisions that pertain to their family while still seeking the advice or suggestions from their parents or in-laws as and when required), emotional leaving (your first love becomes your spouse and all other human relationships are consequently relegated to a secondary position – be it friends or parents) and financial leaving (the newlywed couple begins to live independently within their own resources). All these are facilitated by physical leaving (actually moving out of your parents’ house to an independent place to live). Jesus Christ has spoken in no uncertain terms on the dangers of setting aside the commandment of God, in order to keep ones on cultural tradition (Mark 7: 9). As long as the parents are able and healthy enough to live separately, they should do so. In fact, it is godly parents who should encourage the newlywed couple to leave. This will be in the best interests of both the parents and the newlywed couple. There will always be exceptions, when physical leaving may not be the right option to make. Yet exceptions are always exceptions and exceptions should never become the norm.

If God guides you to be a full time Christian worker or take up a job as a tent making missionary in a pioneering place, it is good to go with your parents’ blessings and the assurance of their prayer support. But if they do not appreciate your God-given convictions, you need to humbly communicate to them that you would obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). The same principle holds good in choosing one’s life partner too.

There are many things that I do not like about the western culture; but there is one area where I believe Indian parents are making a mistake. In the West, when children reach the age of 20, they are expected to move out of the parents’ home and make an independent living.  In the Indian culture, I am afraid we do not allow our children to become independent and interdependent. We over protect them and foster a dependency culture whereby children actually fail to grow up. 

Honouring parents can include many things. The key is to try to understand what your parent’s desired love language is and if that desired love language is not something that will hinder you from seeking the kingdom of God first; then surely learn to give it to them in the best possible manner. Children of all ages must be able to give to their parents love and honour in the morally right forms of love language that their parents seek. For some it may be a patient listening. For others it may be a regular phone call to enquire about dad and moms health. For some it may be a hand massage, for others it may be a thank you SMS. For some honouring parents may involve the giving of thoughtful gifts – which may not necessarily be very expensive. For others it may be accompanying parents for a visit to the bank or helping them out in some matters that may require tech savvy interventions. Children must also understand that there are generational differences in love language needs. The younger generation may want to ‘chill out with an eat-out’, while the parents may prefer to ‘chill in with a sit-in’. It would be best if parents can communicate clearly to their children what exactly they would like. Unfortunately many come from dysfunctional families where such free and transparent communication never takes place. In such cases, all that the children may be able to do is to wait in prayer always keeping their eyes open for out-of-the-box ways and means of honouring their parents.

One of the most poignant passages in Scriptures on honouring parents is John 19:26, 27 where Jesus was dying on the cross of Calvary and he saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved (John) standing by, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son! Then he said to the disciple John, Behold your mother! And from that hour that disciple John took Mary into his own home. Even as Jesus was dying he did not fail to fulfil his responsibility to his earthly mother as the eldest son in that family. As in every other case, it is in Jesus Christ that we find the delicate balance of how to honour your parents without compromising on your love and obedience to God.  

An Evangelical Response to the LGBT QIA coalition

The Indian government seems to be swiftly moving towards accepting same-sex marriage as legal. In the discussions, the term ‘homosexual’ has for good reason been replaced by the term: LGBT – an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (‘trapped’ in a wrong body). This acronym actually helps to clarify the multiple sexualities whose representatives have banded together to seek legal recognition and relief from stigma and shame. We probably need to add a few more letters to the acronym to make the label read as LGBT QIA - a more inclusive coalition, by adding references to Queer (or Questioning), Intersex individuals – the few whose bodies are born gender-ambiguous and Asexual persons - who find their sexuality ill-defined by the existing heterosexual or homosexual categories.

In reality, there is only one conviction that can hold this coalition of disparate human experiences together. And it is the irrelevance of bodies - specifically, the irrelevance of biological sexual differentiation in how we use our bodies.

What unites the LGBT QIA coalition is a conviction that human beings are not created male and female in any essential or important way. What matters is not one's body but one's heart—the seat of human will and desire, which only its owner can know. And, therefore, we are challenged: how dare we speak against any person's heart? It is not his or her personal human right.

I for one believe, based on the Bible that God made man, male and female and that marriage is between one man and one woman. Because I take this position, there is going to be great antagonism toward me. I will be seen as un-enlightened, not in tune with the times and may be even homophobic. That’s okay. If need be, I am willing to hold on to that position at a great social cost, at least for the foreseeable future.

To uphold a biblical ethic on marriage is to affirm the sweeping scriptural witness that God made man in His image, male and female and that the creation of humanity as male and female was declared by God as being "very good". Sexual differentiation (along with its crucial outcome of children, who have a biological connection to two parents but are not mirror images of either one) is not an accident of evolution or a barrier to fulfilment. It is in fact the way fruitfulness, diversity, and abundance are sustained in the world.

Can I hold this position and love my LGBT QIA neighbours? Yes. True, the vast majority of Christians are completely unequipped to handle someone who is same-gender attracted. You may have been a drug dealer, alcoholic, a thief, or even a murderer, but in Christ Jesus, you can find forgiveness for your sins. Likewise, a person, who experiences same-sex attraction and handles it in accord with God's revealed will, can be confident of God's love and is in a perfect position to be the recipient of the full measure of God's grace. Unfortunately, finding a church that will accept you just as Jesus Christ accepts you may be difficult in the real world. Just as there exists Alcoholics Anonymous to cater to those struggling with alcoholism, and just as there exit specialised ministries to cater  children, students, aged, handicapped, etc, the Christian community should initiate specialised ministries that can understand and effectively cater to the needs of our LGBT QIA neighbours.

In 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 Paul lists homosexual practices alongside a list of other immoral behaviours like greed, extortion, idolatry, robbery, etc. If we were to attempt an acronym for the various immoral behaviours listed there in, we would end up with the alphabet: A for adultery, B for buggery (Sodomy), C for covetousness, D for deception, E for effeminate, F for fornication, H for homosexuality and so on. In other words, it is an issue of activity, and not an issue of identity. It is a form of bondage to redefine activity as an identity, and say, This is your identity. You can't escape it, when in reality it has to do with activity. In v.11 Apostle Paul goes on to say that some of those who were now members of the Church at Corinth had a back log of such immoral behaviour. They were at that time disqualified for the kingdom of God; but now that had found justification in Jesus Christ sufficient for their sanctification.

There is in fact just one common label or identity for all those who practice immoral behaviour – we are all sinners. When we come to Christ Jesus and find in Him forgiveness for our sins, we get a new identity: Children of God – fully accepted and eternally loved by God. This potential change of identity is open to all sinners, without any discrimination to those who find themselves in the LGBT QIA coalition. God hates the sinful behaviour, but God loves the sinner.

In some ways we are all queer. In the depths of our heart, our yearnings, especially those bound up with our sexuality, are hardly ever fully satisfied by the biblical model of one man and one woman yoked together for life (even though, there is no doubt that in the present fallen world, that is the least destructive and most sustainable model – the best for humanity and therefore part of the moral will of God for mankind on earth). C.S. Lewis said over 50 years ago, ‘If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.’ I belong to that remnant, perhaps small or perhaps substantial, who will continue to teach that we are created male and female, to bless the marriages that reunite those two broken halves, and to remind all, married and unmarried, that "in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage" (Mathew 22:30) - that ultimately our earthly struggle with our sexuality only reflects the reunion promised between the Creator and his image bearers. Along the way, we all will be queer, groaning as we await the redemption of our bodies.

Living Holy in an Entertainment Saturated World

We live in a world where entertainment has a profound influence on our everyday lives. Entertainment almost dominates our every waking moment and large television screens stalk us wherever we go – be it the barber shop, super market, airport departure terminal or railway station platform. Added to this are social media, video games, televised sports, and MP3 players – all of which have introduced us to a culture of passive solitary consumption.

Are these healthy or unhealthy for those of us seeking to follow after Jesus Christ?

This question is not new, but the answer is not simple either.  

On one hand we need to carefully guard ourselves from becoming victims of the seductive power of entertainment knowing that our warfare is with such ‘powers and principalities’ (Ephesians 6:12*) and our goal is to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). We ought not to allow ourselves become addicted to any form of entertainment or social media and we should consciously refuse its constant quest for primacy in my life. (1 Corinthians 6:12)

On the other hand we should know that as people who have been set free by the truth (John 8:32,36) we do have the permission, occasionally, to sit back and relax, and enjoy entertainment. By doing so we may actually strip entertainment of its dangerous aspirations to rule over us and enjoy God's goodness and abundance.

But the long term influence of entertainment on such passive relaxed involvement must not be trivialised. The thoughts we allow into our minds ultimately influences our life style (Romans 12:1,2). What we believe will ultimately determine the way we live.  So we have to evaluate all things from a perspective and value system that is from above (Colossians 3:2).

I have never been a movie buff and can count all the movies I have ever seen till date on my ten fingers. Yet I did see a couple of films like Gandhi and Jurassic Park multiple times. They were rich with meaning, insight, and value for our lives. (1 Corinthians 10:23). Recently Aamir Khan in an interview published in THE HINDU asserted that cinema can be a tool for moral edutainment. The art-for-art’s sake school may object, and maintain that art is a pure experience that cannot be mixed up with any agenda. But I do believe that every piece of art comes from a particular world view, even if not consciously acknowledged, and therefore does carry with it an agenda always. Society is best served by artists who elevate and ennoble, rather than by those who claim to merely entertain.

We need to shun entertainment that diminishes or denies moral values and yet we also need to affirm entertainment that expresses or enhances true values. But in reality, sometimes even within a single song, or movie, or media form, we find both of these processes happening. So we have to be very discerning and tread carefully. (1 Peter 2:16)

Facebook and Twitter have absolutely revolutionized the way we interact socially, process news, experience live events, foster movements, and engage in communal real-time discourse. We should learn to make our presence there and use such media for the glory of God and the expansion of His kingdom on earth. (1 Corinthians 10:31; Mathew 6:33)

Entertainment and social media can facilitate idolising people; systems and/or material goods seeking with un-satiable thirst for more and more worshipers or followers. But we must not resign ourselves to the idea that entertainment is only an idol manufacturing unit. Instead, we can always work toward re-routing entertainment and social media to point away from itself (or oneself) by creative, thoughtful and intentional engagement. Then it might become not be a thing to be worshipped, but an aid in our worship and service of the Ultimate source of all things good, true, and beautiful (Philippians 4:8). If some among us find our calling with such intentional engagement in the world of entertainment, who am I to judge? (Romans 14:4)

God wants us to be in the world, but not of the world (John 17:15,16). He wants us to live blameless in the midst of this crooked and perverse generation (Philippians 2:15,16).

Towards that end, may our feet point.

[* Reading the Bible references given and mediating on them in the context of this particular topic can be a very rewarding exercise]

Thoughts on Contemporary Christian Music and Worship

Music has been defined as the art or science of combining vocal or instrumental sounds (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion.Music can be used as a means through which a single person or a group can express their feelings of worship. But the reverse is not true. Worship cannot be used as a means to promote our liking for music.We are to love our God with all our heart and soul and body. Music helps us to integrate our mind, our emotions and our body into a single act of worship unto God. When we express our words, it must be accompanied by the right emotions and the appropriate non-verbal expressions.  

But what actually makes music Christian? Imagine yourself listening only to a sound track (no vocals). How would you know if it was Christian music or not unless you knew beforehand that the sound track was associated with the lyrics of a Christian song? So the defining element is the lyrics. It is the content of a song that primarily decides the world view it represents.

There can be occasions when attributed meaning makes sense. Year’s back one of my favourites was a song called ‘Thank you Daddy’. The lyrics of that song have so much meaning to it and it clearly portrays a picture of a loving father. Now the original composer of the song may have written it as an ode to his own dad. But as one who had tasted the love of the Heavenly Father, I was able to sing the same song attributing the words of that song to God. Thus a secular song became to me a very meaningful Christian devotional because of the meaning I had attributed to the lyrics.

Tastes in music and styles keep changing from generation to generation. Songs based on pub tunes of the William Booth era are now classified under Old Favourites in Christian Hymn Books. What is music to some is irritable noise to others. Despite the ever changing generational preferences, what should remain important is that the lyrics of the song be true to the Biblical world view and clear enough for the singer to comprehend and identify with. If the sound and volume of the instruments deafen out the words, the purpose of the song is questionable...even though some would try to justify this as making a joyful noise before the Lord - a common refrain in the King James Version of the Psalms.

In some Christian concerts the worship leaders are often the focus of a lot of attention. Can worship leaders learn to facilitate the congregation to worship God in truth and in Spirit without attracting attention to themselves? Well, I think even good preachers have to bear with this same challenge.

After a church service, we sometimes ask the question: Did you enjoy the worship? It sounds as if we go to church to evaluate the worship and allot marks on the preacher and worship leader. The truth is that God is seated as the audience and we are being evaluated as to how true our worship is unto God. God is the one doing the evaluation and we are the subjects. The right question to ask is not 'Did you enjoy the worship?' but 'Was God pleased with your worship?'Any deed is only good if it serves the purpose it is meant for. A worship session is questionable when people only enjoy the music but fail to worship God. It is similar to junk food.It tastes and feels good, but has no nutritional content at all. The tune, musical instruments or voice will not worship God. Only the heart does.

The proof that the pudding is in the eating! The proof of true worship is that it reaches God. If it is only limited to the walls of the building and restricted by our words and actions - then our so called expressive worship may end up being mere entertainment. Sadly many gatherings are concentrating on how entertaining it is for the human mind. There is no harm in the session being entertaining (in the sense of being interesting and not boring) but that factor alone will not serve the purpose of worship. You can enjoy worshiping God and it should necessarily be so for a genuine Christian. But remember – do not concentrate on the beat, the sound, the rhythm, the voice, the tune or the mood music creates. Rather concentrate on the content i.e. the lyrics of the song and what you are telling God from your heart. If not, it’s just entertainment again.

I sometimes wonder about the singing of songs by professionals who don’t necessarily share the conviction of the song. Just imagine a group of professional singers who do not have a personal faith in Jesus Christ singing the song ‘Jesus… Name above all names, Beautiful Saviour’. A true believer may be led by their singing to glorify God from his or her heart while the singers themselves may simply have focused on singing it well.

As a true Christian, what is most important is the motive and purpose of our singing. Are we singing unto the Lord from our hearts? Or are we singing to impress others? Are we singing to climb the ladder in our popularity rating as a band or are we singing to glorify God? Name, fame, popularity, fan following, money, etc. are all self-serving while Jesus Christ made it very clear that He came to serve and not to be served. Being filled with the Spirit we are to speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:18, 19). It is what happens in the heart, which God is most concerned about.

Do musicians stir up the emotions of the audiences? Yes, they do. Don’t preachers do so too? Through the preaching of the Word and music we are to address the mind, the emotions and the will of the people to facilitate a closer walk with the Lord.

I sometimes wonder about the repetitions of the same one line of a song. For instance, when the song 'God is good ' is sung during worship, the line 'God is good all the time and all the time God is good ' is often sung over and over again. In a public gathering, how appropriate can the repetitions be?  In Mathew 6:7 Jesus Christ has warned us not to use vain repetitions in prayers – songs are often prayers sung. As long as repetitions are from the heart and done meaningfully, all is well. In Psalms 136 the words ‘for His mercy endures forever’ are repeated 26 times in 26 verses.

After a music programme can we rejoice in our performance? God after having completed His creative activity sat back and evaluated it and said, “It is good”. We too can and must evaluate before the Lord what we have done. We can be justified in rejoicing in a job done well. We can be humble enough to receive words of appreciation but we will also have to be very careful lest we become proud in our own abilities. In the secret chambers of our heart, let us learn to take the crowns and trophies that are given to us and place them at the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ.

In Luke 10:20 Jesus Christ warned His disciples not to rejoice in successful ministry or outstanding performances but rather to rejoice in the fact that our names are written in heaven. As humans this is not easy. But it serves as a guidepost, for the happiness of happenings will pass and high spirits will give way. The fact that our names are written in heaven is what should spur our true rejoicing. 

At this Christmas, Jesus Christ knocks at your door...

The true meaning of Christmas is often lost in the midst of all its present day commercialization – brightly illuminated stars, colourful cakes, fancy cribs, expensive greeting cards, imported trees, jazzy carol singing, Santa Claus in all his attire and all his gifts.

True Christmas is actually all about Gods initiative to connect with mankind – and at this Christmas time - with you as a person. God loves you and desires to have a personal relationship with you. For this very purpose Jesus Christ was born into this world and that is what we truly celebrate about at Christmas time. His earthly parents, Joseph and Mary knocked at many doors in Bethlehem for a place to lay their newly born child, but most refused to give them any place to stay. Finally an Inn keeper allowed them to share space in his backyard animal shed. Likewise today, Jesus Christ is gently knocking at the door of your heart. You may be reluctant to open the doors of your life to Him because you may have a past that you are ashamed of. But Jesus Christ is willing to come in, if only you will allow Him to do so. He can walk into those places of sin and failure, wipe the slate clean and give you a new beginning. If you open the door of your heart to Jesus, he will surly come in and be a faithful friend to you. You need a friend. Jesus knows the worst about you, yet He believes the best. Why? Because He loves you not only as you are now, but He also sees the potential for all you can be in Him and with Him.

If you would like to begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ today, talk to Him in prayer. Invite Him into your life. In Revelation 3:20, Jesus Christ says: ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.’ If you are one who has done so before, maybe there is some facet of your life that you are yet to allow Him in. You can consider opening up that room of your life for His lordship.

May this Christmas be most meaningful because you opened the door of your heart so that Jesus Christ may be born there, may live and reign there, transforming your life once and for ever.

Wishing you a very meaningful Christmas and a Christ directed New Year!

Gods will is often plain and simple

If God wants us to be doing His will, then why is finding His will so difficult? The truth is that Gods will is often plain, simple and readily available, but unfortunately we have made it seem complicated and hard to find. 

The will of God is not a road map, mysteriously hidden and waiting to be discovered somewhere. Instead, it is a path that God wants us to walk everyday and every moment of our life. The will of God is clearly given to us from cover to cover in Scripture.  It is not intended to be found; it is intended to be read, studied, understood and simply followed.

While we must submit in advance to Gods ultimate overruling of our plans, we must not view God as a deterministic deity who has planned out every single step we are supposed to take. Many spend countless hours praying about and seeking those steps. Deep inside, they also worry about missing God’s will. The truth is that in the issues for which we often seek guidance, namely: which course or college should I join, what job or vocation should I take up and whom should I marry, God has only given us the guiding principles. If equal options remain after all those guiding principles have been carefully applied, God in His graciousness has allowed us the freedom to make our own choices based on our preferences. This freedom to choose actually empowers us to do Gods will rather than grope  blindly in the dark hoping that we hit some cosmic bull’s eye called God’s will. While God does give us the freedom to choose, He also wants us to be responsible for the choices that we make, remembering that the choices that we make can have very significant consequences, the ripples of which may even be felt on the shores of eternity.  

In every decision, we must pray to God for help, trust His wisdom, and submit to what is already revealed in Scripture. The fact that God never fails to fulfil His sovereign will should allow us to languish for some supernatural intervention to jerk us out of slumber. We ought to keep moving forward, one step at a time, based on the light that we have already received. This process would involve serious study of the Scripture to find out what principles apply to the decision at hand, seeking wise counsel, asking the opinion of those who have walked these paths before, reflecting our thoughts with faithful mentors and searching the World Wide Web. Good decisions are always the fruit of homework done well. The earlier we do the homework, the better equipped we are when the hour of decision falls upon us. Moving forward also helps us to realise what is actually available out there in the market place. It cuts to size our unrealistic expectations and enables us to operate in sync with the ground realities of our times. As we prayerfully go about this process with all sincerity, Gods will almost always becomes self evident – plain and simple.  

When it comes to choosing a course, take up the course of your liking, if you can get a seat. If not, opt for the next best choice. While opting for a course, you should also consider the job prospects and whether the anticipated job description fits your personality. Not everybody likes to be a teacher. Not everybody likes to be an accountant. However, not everyone always gets what he or she likes in life. So, we should be able to see courses or jobs that are not to our liking as divinely ordered stepping stones to fulfilling some higher calling in life, just as Joseph was being prepared in prison to occupy the highest office in Egypt, Moses was being prepared in the wilderness to be the meek leader of a mass exodus and David was being prepared in the pastures, to be King of Israel.  This is what it means to submit to the outworking of Gods sovereign will in your life. Nothing is wasted in the economy of God. Ultimately, from the eternal shores, when we will look back at the paths that God in His sovereign will had allowed us to walk, we will see the unfolding of a wondrous plan, far beyond what we could ever have imagined or master minded in our own wisdom. 

 

When it comes to deciding which school or college to join, take into consideration the track record of the institution, the availability of funds to pay for the fees, the distance from home or the availability of good safe hostels, the opportunity for spiritual growth and fellowship, etc. In this age of centralised allocation, we are often left with very few options to choose from at the end of the process. If you missed out on getting into the institution or course that you had very much longed for, don’t lose heart, for God may have some better plans for you in this allocation. 

As your college years come to an end, only if you are fortunate enough to have multiple job offers in your kitty does the question of choice come up. In such cases, along with the pay pack, perks and reputation of the company as a good place to work, you must also consider the quality of life that the job offers, opportunity for career advancement, environment for serving with integrity and work-life balance ensuring availability for family and ministry. We know that God desires all men and women to be saved and that we have been commissioned to be disciple makers. As this is the already revealed will of God in Scripture, we ought to ask how the choices we make with regard to vocation, job, spouse, relocation, etc would enable us to better partner with God in His redemptive programme.

If you are wondering whether God is calling you to full time ministry, don’t wait. Remember that you already are a God commissioned witness for Jesus Christ in your campus or your work place. Go ahead and start being involved in the ministry right now in the campus where God has places you as a student, or while you are still employed. That is your present mission field. Do not get involved in ministry activities to the extent that your faithfulness to academics or work is affected. During the holidays or by taking eligible leave, go and work in the mission field of your choice. Get the feel of what it to be out there. As you go about doing so, it will soon become evident to you and to others who care for you, whether or not you should quit the job and make yourself available for full time ministry.

When it comes to marriage, we must recognise that in this fallen world, we will never feel completely fulfilled and getting married and/or having children is not going to change that. If young people enter into marriage believing that it is God’s central calling for their lives and that it will fulfil their aching for relationship, then they are in for a big disillusionment when they finally realize that marriage will not wholly fulfil their aching. Only a deep personal and ongoing relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ is going to be the ultimately satisfying relationship. Marriage and/or children may be part of our lives, but God doesn’t set up marriage as the only option before us. We may also choose to remain single and wholly devoted to the service of the Lord.

If you do plan to marry, work on your dream spouse concepts so as to ensure that the bricks you use to construct your dream spouse image are taken from the Scripture rather than from what is dished out or stereotyped by the world, the media, culture or tradition.  Remember, romance will fade, the honeymoon will end and chemistry will one day become history. Whomsoever you marry is not going to be an angel dropped down from heaven, but a saved sinner, imperfect like you and me. However, just because you are not going to get a perfect spouse, doesn’t mean that you should compromise on what the Scripture values as important. Make an all out effort to search and find those who best qualify. You may end up with just a handful and they in turn, may not find you to be up to the mark. As we faithfully go about the search process, doors will open and close, again making the choice almost self evident – plain and simple. By that, I do not mean that you will be at peace. All important decisions in life will be stressful. It is risky to move without peace, but it can be equally risky/destructive to not move at all or wait for peace in order to justify the fear that you have in making a decision. You will have to trust God for the unknown future. Stepping out in faith need not be a blind leap in the dark. It can be a prayerfully and carefully considered well informed choice. Peace will come, as we slowly move forward in line with the already revealed will of God in Scripture. God often calls us from pain to pain to fulfil our calling in life. God will, often, if not always, involves consciously choosing to take up the cross and follow him on the narrow road. Often, it is not the lack of knowledge of the will of God, but not wanting to do the known will of God that prevents us from proving that good and acceptable and perfect will of God in our life.

Take heart, my dear brother, my dear sister...for Gods will is often plain and simple and readily available.

Just do it!

God created man in His image, male and female

“I had chafed under the restraints and the ties which formed the common lot of women...How hard it seemed to my mind that marriage should be the goal of woman’s ambition, and that she should spend her days in the light trifles of a home life; live to dress, to look pretty, and never know the joy of independence and intellectual work. The thought had been galling. It made me avoid men.”

These words could have been written today. But they were actually written by India’s first feminist writer Krupabai Satthianadhan (1862-1894) way back in the 1880’s.

What is a modern day rendering of the same thought? Read what Lena Dunham, writer and director of HBO series, ‘Girls’ says about 21^st century womanhood. Claiming to offer a new script for what womanhood looks like, Lena Dunham says “None of my actions have ever been determined by the search for a husband, or wondering if I was going to have a family someday, or wanting to live in a really great house …. This is the kind of female character that doesn't make sense to me."

The feminist script for 21^st century womanhood is basically the same as what India’s first feminist had said over a century ago.

The Bible does not insist that ‘marriage should be the goal of a woman’s ambition’ or that her life be ‘determined by the search for a husband?’ The Bible presents singlehood as an acceptable and honourable option for both men and women. Yet, in the wisdom of things, God did say that in this journey of life, companionship in marriage is good and that it is not good to be alone. (Genesis 2:18)

Should woman ‘spend her days in the light trifles of a home life’? The Proverbs 31 woman is described as a merchants' ship bringing her food from faraway lands. (Proverbs 31:14). Of course, home was the base of her operations.

Should the woman ‘live to dress, to look pretty’? The Bible warns us not to be overly concerned about what we would wear (Mathew 6:25). Again in the context of the Proverbs 31 woman, we are told that charm can be deceiving and beauty fades away (Proverbs 31:30). While many a woman may find her identity in what she chooses to wear, a godly woman finds her identity in being an eternally loved child of God.

Should the woman ‘never know the joy of independence and intellectual work’? Once again the Proverbs 31 woman stands out as an example of strategic planning and administration. The Bible also speaks of Deborah as a busy judge in the public place.

In other words, the stereotypes found in the writings of feminists and post feminists do not reflect what the Bible says. The Bible sets believers free from gender stereotypes that diminish them. The Bible teaches that in the eyes of God, women and men are equal in their position as created beings bearing the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and that in Christ Jesus they are equal in their position as children of God. (Galatians 3:28)

Jesus Christ consistently elevated the position of women in the Greco-Roman world. Despite the advances in education and development, in today’s world, women are still disproportionately the victims of violence, human trafficking and economic injustice. Jesus Christ is glorified when the shackles of such oppression are loosed.

What does it means to be masculine and feminine? There is enough for us to formulate our conclusions in this regard from Scripture, psychological observation, and practical application.

The right place to work out a theology of the relations between the genders is to begin with the doctrine of creation. Genesis 1:27 says that God created man in His own image, male and female. That's where theologians and psychologists can begin to equip men and women to be "fully alive," beyond culturally determined stereotypes.

On gender roles, people are usually divided into two camps: the egalitarians and the complementarians. The egalitarians emphasise equality. The complementarians emphasise differential roles that synergise to yield something greater and far more beautiful.

In the Triune God, whose image we bear, we know that the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are co-equal. Bruce Ware has argued in his book, Father, Son, & Holy Spirit; Relationships, Roles, & Relevance, that “We should look… to the triune roles and relationships among the Triune Persons of God to see what it means to live our lives as His images…. In the very eternal relations that are true of the Persons of the Trinity, authority and submission are lived out with love and joy. We must learn to embrace what is eternally true in God, and this means, among other things, embracing rightful authority and rightful submission.”

True freedom is the ability to do what God wants us to do. We are not free, if we are bound from within or without by prejudices or stereotypes – be they from our cultural past or from modern day feminist propaganda. Only the Truth can set us free. A woman who deeply loves the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word will find herself deeply rooted and deeply satisfied in the midst of the confusing feminist cacophony around.