Balancing Family and Ministry

Throughout Scripture, God is called our Father and in the New Testament, Jesus Christ is called our Bridegroom. If God created these relationships and identifies Himself in these roles, it’s obvious that He prioritizes with those identities. The two most powerful relationships in our world are those of husband and wife, and parent and child.

Some of us are so prone to getting consumed with the ministry in the pretext: ‘Surely the family will understand - I'm doing the Lord's work’. We ought not to forget that God established the home as the first institution - even before the church. When our years have come to an end and the castles of our ministry stand tall and strong, we surely don’t want to be holding on to only a fistful of air. "Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air …” (Proverbs 11:29, The Message).

When people are not investing in the family it is usually a direct reflection of their true values. There is a big difference between the values we claim to possess and those we actually operate on in our daily lives. "My Lord comes first; then my wife and family; finally my profession as a servant of God to His people.” We say that with the best intentions but does it actually reflect in our life? It will only take the close call of an accident or a lost child at a busy shopping centre to bring the issue to forefront of our minds?

Do we have to say ‘yes’ to every opportunity for an expanded ministry? March to the mission that Jesus Christ has called you to, not the mission that others are pressurizing you to. Be ruthless here! Jettison from your schedule those items that aren't important. In trying to become all things to all people, if we are constantly reacting to whatever situation (big or small) that pops up, or if we have some compulsive need to be available to everyone all the time (24/7), the chance of finding balance is rather remote.

Bible doesn't use the word ‘balance’ in describing the relationship between one's spouse and children and one's calling into a particular ministry. There's no room for better ‘balance.’ The metaphor is in itself wrong. In the end, you simply can't do more of both. You have to make some painful choices on how much is enough?

How much money - to compensate you for your work?
How many material goods are enough for you?
How much public glory to satisfy your ego? Perhaps ladder-climbing pursuits at work or preoccupation with hobbies and personal comfort?
How much time - to devote to your family? Some of us try to continue with ministry obligations at the same pace and level of involvement prior to being married or having children. For some people - that's fine!
How much opportunity for private reflection?

I have had to learn to tell people that "I have commitments to family right now, but I would be happy to set a mutually convenient time when we can talk or meet." Obviously, there are some genuine emergencies that come up and sometimes plans do have to be rearranged, but honestly, how many of these so-called pressing matters are in reality emergencies? Perhaps you’re one who runs to the rescue of others without contemplating if the issue could be handled over the phone, delegated, or scheduled for another day. You can't accomplish the mission single-handedly, so stop trying! In ministry, we have to face the fact that we cannot do everything. There are times we realize that something will have to go! Remember, it’s not your ministry; it’s the Lord’s ministry. He is also the one who causes it to advance.

Some of us have the uncanny ability to be within the four walls of our house, and yet not at home! Either the sermon is on the computer, or the Bible class is being researched and prepared for. Being within the walls of our home is not the same thing as being home. Have you ever asked students to call out words that define the memories of their fathers? Many words that are called out are negative words: ‘absent,’ ‘domineering’ and ‘detached.’ If your children were asked to call out words that defined your parenting, or if your spouse was reviewing your life at your funeral service, what words would they use?

To spend time with one's spouse or children is not a "duty" but a "privilege" from the hand of the gracious God who blessed us with them in the first place. We must be willing to spend money (a renewable resource) for things like domestic help, ironing clothes, etc to make time (a non-renewable resource) for relationship building. A spouse doesn't share intimacies on command and teenagers don't need us on schedule. We have to be available for them at their time. We can spend time with them only before the nest empties. Our children are arrows that are being sent to a world that we will never fully see. It's our job to shape them into arrows that will fly straight and travel the distance to the Kingdom target that God has intended for them.

Those of us who are employed and get involved in ministry simultaneously end up being busier on weekends and holidays. We need to learn to use our eligible earned leave to take an annual vacation and observe a weekly day of rest. We have a tendency to forego taking consistent time out for personal renewal. There are two reasons to take time off from ministry. First, even Jesus Christ took time to get away from the crowds and be refreshed. Secondly, we are not Jesus! Are you spending adequate time with the Lord? Anointed ministry flows from a vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Interact with God daily. He’s not as concerned with the size of your ministry, youth group, or budget as He is with you.

Some of us struggle in the other direction: we are invested in the family but consider ministry as too costly to the family. We are teaching our children and/or spouse that they are the center of our life, not God. Why don't we trust Him? Do we really believe that He will allow our family life to develop while serving Him? Do we want our legacy to be our children uninterested in a lifestyle of sacrificial living for God? Not caring about the lost, the needy? Consumed with their own feelings and wants? Perhaps the key element in victorious Christian living is developing the ability and willingness to sacrifice. Only with sacrifice can God develop our character and use us to impact others for Him. If we don't teach our family to sacrifice, we will have a spoiled, self-centered family. Many have expressed fear that our children might grow up associating Christian fellowship with having their parents abandoning them in evenings "to serve Christ". We must remember that our marriage and family's spiritual vitality improves as our character changes toward the likeness of Jesus Christ. Consistent involvement in Christian fellowship where we develop significant, ongoing ministry (and are served), study of the word, and prayer – all work together through His Spirit to transform us into His likeness. These activities MUST take us from the family on some evenings, but we should come back a better person of God – a better spouse and a better parent.

Cell phones: Use, Misuse and Abuse

Any instrument can be used or misused. The knife can be used by a surgeon to save life or by a murderer to kill. It is the purpose and motive for which an instrument is used that determines its moral rightness. The cell phone can be used with stewardship for the expansion of Gods kingdom on this earth and for the glory of God. When used in such a manner, the cell phone is a valuable gift of God. The misuse and abuse of the cell phone can however lead to consequences that may even alter our lives forever. Therefore it is only appropriate that we devote careful thought to how we use the cell phone in an age that may well be defined by the predominance of this one instrument.

As students, the cell phone is often gifted by parents, either because the child demanded it or because the parents felt it was necessary. In either case, students should not forget that the primary purpose for which the cell phone has been given to them is to enable the parents to call them, talk to them and find out their welfare/whereabouts or for the student to be able to communicate something to his or her parents, either in an emergency or a non-emergency situation.

It is good for all students to pause for a while and ask themselves, how much proportion of their cell phone talk time is actually devoted to this primary purpose for which the cell phone was originally gifted to them. An honest answer to this question will give an indication as to whether they are being stewards or not.

Some students may object saying, ‘I do not have anything to talk to my parents so often’. Well, it is good to learn the habit of keeping your parents updated of what is happening in your life. This habit doesn’t just happen by accident. It has to be cultivated. If cultivated, this habit will actually serve the student well, because it would actually be developing the fine art of sustaining a long term relationship that needs to be intimate at its very core. Many young people, who get married with great expectations of a life of intimacy with their spouse, end up being disappointed simply because they haven’t learned how to cultivate a long term intimate relationship with their own parents.

Cell phones have facilitated instant communications, caring and sharing of needs and prayer requests. The sense of belonging within a gang has been greatly enhanced in this age of cell phone connectivity. Travel time or waiting time can be effectively used for sending short messages of enquiry and encouragement to lonely and needy souls. Cell phones have enabled students to seek counsel from mentors at the very moment of need. On the other side of the coin, the facility to communicate instantly with those who care for us has also made believers prone to making their needs known to others rather than to God Himself by prayer.

Misuse of cell phones among students usually occurs in the context of boy-girl relationships. As a thumb rule, I recommend that students learn to cultivate multiple, equidistant and holy relationships with students of the opposite sex and refrain from any friendships that have the slightest hint of romance. One should examine ones own heart and find out if there is any special love fluttering there for any particular person in the opposite sex. One can easily decipher the vibes and cues of romantic love in the callers’ words, tone and frequency of calls. If you find that any one relationship with a person of the opposite sex is becoming closer/more intimate than your relationships with other persons of the opposite sex, you are moving into danger zone. Realign yourself immediately. We should never assume that we are strong enough and would not fall. Even David, the man after Gods’ own heart, fell.

It has been suggested that believer students should be careful in their communications with the opposite sex not to cross from level 2 to level 3 in the following continuum: (1) Information (2) Opinions (3) Emotions (4) Total Transparency. When level 2 has been crossed by the person who is calling, the recipient would be wise to immediately redirect the call to a more mature person of the same sex as the caller. Don’t think that by doing so, you would be considered an unloving person. Level 3 and 4 are to be reserved for your spouse/married mentor/same sex confidant.

Many naive believer students have got sucked into campus romance by not being cautious in the use of cell phones. Some have got so attached with their lovers that now they cannot even think of separating. They have destroyed their own testimony in the campus and made it difficult for other believing students to testify of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Some naïve believer students have been taken for a ride and have got ditched by their own lovers who were only seeking to satisfy their own lustful desires in a temporary ‘hit and go’ romance under the guise of brother-sister fellowship in Christian love. They bear irreparable emotional scars of broken relationships and the whole episode has very adversely affected their academic performance. All this could have been avoided if they had been a little cautious.

One must realise that the human tendency to confide and to shed our masks is more in a non face-to-face setting provided for when the two are connected over the cell phone. In such situations we tend to freely allow our minds to go into an imaginary world of fantasy. It is due to the same reason that many young people share more about themselves to an anonymous person they have not seen before in Orkut and Facebook sites.

Those believer students who were fortunate enough to come out of cell phone facilitated campus romance have the following advice to give us. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

• Cell phone affairs almost invariably begin by ‘just being friends’
• One partner has a ‘need’ and the other partner offers to help in meeting that ‘need’ by serving on a ‘rescue mission’, which may mean nothing more than just being an empathetic and caring listener
• Often the ‘need’ is a bait put by the one who is trying to woo the other person
• Frequency of calls + Sharing of Feelings + Time = Sweethearts for Sure
• Offers like ‘free talk time after 11 pm’ or ‘free sms’ have facilitated campus romance. We ought to be careful not to become victims of the marketing stratagems of Cell Phone providers
• The camera/video options of the handset are also to be used with discretion.
• When being called by a fellow student of the opposite sex don’t move to a lonely place. Stay in the midst of accountable people/elders and inform the caller that you don’t intend to move out. This will control the content of your communications.
• Some believer students who were struggling to come out of hooked relationships have even gone to the extent of handing over their handsets to accountable others in their hostels to screen incoming calls and messages.
• When receiving a call from an unknown number, seek first for the identity of the caller. If the caller refuses to reveal his/her identity, cut the call.
• When receiving prank calls, save the number as X, Y, or Z and do not answer calls from those numbers.
  

Cell phones have been found to be the primary culprit in the making of extra-marital relationships and consequently in the breaking of many marriages. So learning to use the cell phone appropriately during your student days will prepare you to protect your own married life later.

The health hazards of long term and continues cell phone radiation is a much debated subject. It is here that abuse may occur. God wants us to protect our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Use of ear phones is recommended especially for long calls.

Another issue that needs to be addressed is which model of handset you should purchase. Students often succumb to peer pressure in making this choice. The purpose for which we intend to use the cell phone should determine the facilities we need. Our need should be defined by our use and our purse. Stylish, email optimised handsets may be an asset for some, especially globe trotting professionals. But just going for the latest high end model merely to keep up with the Joneses is not in the spirit of Christian stewardship.

Some young people have several cell phones: one for their parents to call, one for their boy friends to call and yet another for their girl friends to call; one for incoming calls and another for outgoing calls. I cannot be a judge about your need for these many handsets, but you can judge yourself before God in terms of stewardship and how prone you are to becoming a cell phone addict!

In the final analysis, how we use or misuse our cell phone is known only to God and may we learn to walk before Him with a clear conscience even in this age of mobile gadgetry.

What is most important is not allowing our cell phone use become a hindrance in our connectivity with the Heavenly Father who waits eagerly for our calls and extended talk time. Through Jesus Christ, there is never congestion in the network. All talk time is free. Your Heavenly Father waits for you, with open arms…Did you talk to Him today? Do not allow any guilt feelings of not having talked to Him in the recent past prevent you. Even if you only ‘miss call’ Him, He would surely and certainly respond!

Only He can ultimately satisfy the deepest cravings of our hearts longing for intimacy that we try to quench by our network of friendships. May we be able to say: ‘Where my Shepherd leads me, there I will follow!’

Ordering your personal finances

The Bible has a lot to say on this subject
It warns us concerning the acquisition of wealth (Mathew 16:26), borrowing money and going into debt (Proverbs 22:7). It teaches us the proper use of money (Luke 16: 9), integrity in money matters (Luke 16:10-12; Proverbs 20:10) and why we ought to earn money to give others (Ephesians 4:28).

Order your personal finances
1 Timothy 5:8 If one does not provide for his own, and especially for those in his household, he has [1] denied the faith and is [2] worse than an unbeliever. Even one who does not pray or preach has not been given this degree of a condemnation.

Dangers involved in desiring to be rich
1 Timothy 6:9 Those who desire to be rich: [1] fall into temptation [2] fall into a snare [3] and into many foolish and harmful lusts [4] which ultimately drown men in destruction. Money management ultimately boils down to desire management! So let us examine our emotions/attitudes before God. 1 Timothy 6: 10 Not money in itself but the love of money [1] is the root of all kinds of evil and [2] results in straying away from the faith in greediness [3] and hurting oneself with many sorrows. Proverbs 23:4

We are rich! But are we content?
1Timothy 6: 8 According to the Bible if we have food and clothing (inclusive of shelter) we ought to be content. Are we?

Prayer of Agur
Proverbs 30:8, 9 Even a Godly man, Agur doubted that if he was given poverty, he may steal; if he was given riches, he may forget God. Therefore we should not be careless about financial matters.

Decisions to be made
How to make money? How to budget? How to keep accounts? How to use money? How much money to give? Where to give? How much to save? How to save? How to invest? The husband takes his wife (and may be the children also, when they are old enough) into confidence during the decision making process. However, the husband is finally to own responsibility for all decisions taken.

Adopt a One Family-One Purse Policy
All money should come to this one purse and go out from it. Avoid separate accounts. It is always wise to have joint bank accounts/fixed deposits with either/survivor status and a nominee designated. It is also wise to have a Will written and registered to prevent unnecessary squabbles in the event of your unanticipated demise.

Budgeting and Book Keeping
On receipt of your salary/income assign the required sum into separate envelopes (For the LORD/For Food/For House Rent/For Electricity, Water, Telephone and Gas/For Children's education/For Travel (Petrol/Bus) /For Medical Expenses/For Dress and Miscellaneous/For Savings). Limit your expenditure to what amount is available. Book keeping will always help in realizing where all the money has gone and where stringent austerity measures are needed.

Make a living by hard work
2 Thessalonians 3:8, 10-12 The apostles laid an example for us by working with LABOR and TOIL, night and day. If anyone is not willing to work, LET HIM NOT EAT. We are to WORK IN QUIETNESS and EAT OUR OWN BREAD. Proverbs 24:33, 34.

The Corporate Carrot and How far should I excel in my work?
Should I excel in my work at the cost of intimacy with God and/or spouse? Should I do so at the cost of relationship building with my children? Should I do so at the cost of availability for ministry? Should we say ‘Yes’ to every promotion? A believer must live by priorities and not by the pressures of circumstances. Luke 12:15-21.

Are you a hard worker or a workaholic?
Being a workaholic is a socially acceptable addiction! No one looks down on hard workers. Society encourages and rewards them. The difference between a hard worker and a workaholic is control. The hard worker is in control of when and how hard to work. There is a balance between work and the rest of his life. There is absolutely nothing wrong in doing our work well, in feeling satisfied when we have put in a long days work or in going an extra mile to make sure a project is completed on time. The workaholic on the other hand feels anxious when not working. He finds it impossible to relax. Sometimes he resents time spent with family and friends. The key indicator that a person is out of control and a workaholic is the bad state of his personal relationships. Workaholics often end up in burnout. We are not meant to work 24 x 7. It is neither healthy nor desirable to spend more than eight hours working every day. The road back from workaholism and burn out can sometimes feel slow and painful, but it can be done and it must be done. Proverbs 15: 16; 16:8.

Should we save?
Some quote Mathew 6:11, 26 and ask: ‘Why Save?’ Proverbs 6: 6-11: He who does not save for the dark day is LAZY. It is not an act of faith. Even the poorest can have a piggy bank to save coins.

What should we save for?
We ought to save for KNOWN FUTURE NEEDS. E.g. If my wife is pregnant, I know we would have to meet hospital expenditure for the delivery. We should trust God for UNKNOWN FUTURE NEEDS. E.g. I should not be saving for an unanticipated future kidney failure!

Where is our trust: in our savings or in the Lord?
2 Corinthians 3:5 We ought to know that our sufficiency is from God. It is not wrong to be rich. Abraham, Job, Jacob, etc were rich. It is wrong to trust in our riches. 1 Timothy 6: 17-19: The rich should [1] not be proud [2] not trust in uncertain riches [3] trust in God who gives us richly all things to enjoy [4] do good works [5] be ready to give [6] be willing to share and thus [7] store up eternal riches. Proverbs 13:7

Live a Simple Life
Buy what you actually NEED. You understand what you actually need by what you actually USE. So what is simplicity to me may not be simplicity for my brother. Let us therefore abstain from judging one another. We ought to subject our WANTS to our NEEDS rather than to our MEANS. Learning to live within your means might mean you look less successful.

Presents/Gifts/Cards/Celebrations
We need not become victims of consumerism. Give those whom you love, your time and your affection rather than expensive gifts (Proverbs 15:17). Celebrations are necessary and good but our focus can be on how to make them more meaningful rather than extravagant. Extravagant marriage functions on borrowed money are a crime. Family suicides are mostly associated with attempts to live beyond ones own means. Believers must be examples in living within their means.

Borrowing and Lending
Owe no one anything except love (Romans 13:8). The borrower is a slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). The wicked borrows and does not repay (Psalms 37: 21). We must not withhold from poor believers (Deuteronomy 15: 8) especially if it is a medical emergency, yet with discretion (Psalms 112:5). We must not take interest from poor believers (Exodus 22:25). We may give only that amount which we are willing to give unto the LORD and thus permanently forgo (Proverbs 19:17).

Loans and Insurances
As far as possible avoid loans and all ‘buy-now-pay-later’ schemes. Take a housing loan if it gives you income tax benefits. Take only that much loan as can be repaid by the insurance policy you have, so that in the event of your death, your family will not become bankrupt. Use insurance as a form investment: insurance premiums force you to save on a regular basis.

Credit Cards
Heinous pitfalls await those who depend on Credit Cards. There are rare occasions when Credit Cards can be useful – times of emergencies. But then the immediate goal must be to pay the bill as soon as possible. When people determine to live debt free, it makes them seem like the ‘odd-one-out’ in a society where instant gratification, promoted by the media, has been elevated to the status of a way of life. As believers we should always strive to spend less than we make even if that means sacrificing some comforts.

Surety and Pledges
The Bible has warned us sufficiently against standing as surety and or pledging our material possessions for others sake: Proverbs 6: 1-5; 11:15; 17:18; 22:26.

Giving to the LORD
Giving must be regular and planned (1 Corinthians 16:2); generous, intentional, cheerful and not under compulsion (2 Corinthians 9: 6, 7); proportionate to and at times even beyond our means (2 Corinthians 8: 2-4). In giving we must ask the questions: To whom/where, how much, when and why? The Lord watches and rewards our giving. (Luke 21: 1-4; Philippians 4:17)

Money is a good servant, but a bad master
Luke 16:13 The bottom line is that money management is not so much of a technique. It is basically self-management or control of ones desires. Unless one learns to control himself, he is no more likely to control his money than he is to discipline his habits, his time, or his temper. Undisciplined money usually spells an undisciplined person.

Me and my family: Photographs

Alexander George

The Family

Soly and Alex

My Children with their Grandma

In Green Pastures, Besides Still Waters

At Highfield, Kotagiri

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep. Its an uphill task and the path is narrow, but together, we can make it!

The Secret of a Truly Victorious Christian Life

“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for my own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” The Lord (Isaiah 43:25)

When a person becomes a true believer in Christ, he is born into the family of God and out of the family of Satan. Satan does everything he can to keep us blinded to the offer of forgiveness in Christ, but millions have thrown off his shackles and gone from death to life. This has absolutely infuriated Satan, and each time someone responds to the Gospel, it’s a slap in his face.

C.S. Lewis, in his amusing book ‘The Screwtape Letters’, satirizes the daily routine in hell and the foibles and headaches of hardworking demons who just try to put in an honest day’s work fouling up Christians. One of the most successful tactics the demons used in neutralising their enemies (the Christians) was to get them to dwell on all of their failures. Once they began feeling guilty about their performance in the Christian life, they were no longer any threat to Satan’s program.

Things haven’t changed much in Satan’s tactics. Why should they? If you were the captain of an invading army, you would find the weakest spot in your opponent’s defences and go in for the kill. Satan, the archenemy of the saints, is no different. He makes us fall in on our weakest spot and ensures we live a defeated life. There’s nothing Satan likes better than to get a defeated believer started on the guilt trip.

As I look back over my own life, I realize that guilt is a handle that the devil constantly tries to grab to steer me. One classic illustration that comes to my mind: One fellow was a real close buddy of mine. We had had three years of great times together. Then I borrowed some money from him. I told him I would be able to pay back him in about two weeks.

After a week went by, I began to be concerned a little about where the money was going to come from to pay him. But I had another week to work on it, so I wasn’t too worried.

The second week went by, and just couldn’t raise the money anywhere. I felt kind of strained around my friend, but I didn’t bring the subject up because I’d hoped he’d forgotten what the date was.

As the days went by, it seemed to me as though he was looking at me with an accusing expression every time I saw him, and I did the best I could to stay out of his way. After the deadline had passed by two weeks, I began planning my day so I wouldn’t run into him. It was awful. I felt terrible to have lost such a good friend, but on the other hand, I couldn’t see why he wasn’t more understanding of my problem. Mind you, not a word had passed between us regarding the money, but I felt so guilty that was sure he written me off as a friend.

Finally one day, to my horror; I saw him coming toward me in the hall. There was no place to hide! He cornered me and said, “Okay, what’s the matter with you?”

“Well, it’s about that money I owe you,” I answered defensively.

He laughed and put his big hand on my shoulder and said, “Brother, I thought that was it. Look, I haven’t changed. I don’t feel any different toward you than I did a few weeks ago. If you had the money, I know you’d pay me. Your friendship means a lot more, and I’m still your buddy.”

For three weeks I had been going around thinking he was condemning me. But that wasn’t true at all - he was still my best friend.

That taught me an unforgettable lesson. If we think someone is holding something against us, we become alienated and hostile toward them. It’s simply an inevitable reaction, a defence mechanism.

I believe this is the number one reason why Christians fail in their relationship with God. Because we’re always aware that in many ways we fall short of what we should be as Christians, it’s only natural to assume that God must be displeased with our performance. The more we let God down , the more we assume His anger, until such alienation sets into our minds that it is virtually impossible for us to enjoy a fellowship with God.

And the pitiful tragedy is that all this is just in our minds. God isn’t mad at us!

I know what some of you are thinking. You can hardly believe that what I’ am saying is true. On the human level if we let people down or offend them, it does produce alienation on their part. And besides, if you have been riddled with guilt, then you have a gnawing suspicion that you really deserve God’s hostility.

I want to say something loud and clear, in no uncertain terms: “He has now reconciled you in his fleshly body, through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach” (Colossians 1:22)

When do you become “holy and blameless and beyond reproach”? The minute He reconciles you to the Father and that happens the moment you believe in Jesus Christ’s substitutionary death on your behalf.

Let’s substantiate this from the scripture.

There are several words in the original Greek New Testament for reconciliation. One is found in Mathew 5:24: ‘diallasso’, which means that two parties are at enmity with each other and need to reconcile by removing the cause of the enmity. This word is used strictly of human relationships in the Bible.

There is another word, however, which is always used in connection with God and Man: ‘appokatallasso’, meaning that only one party has enmity in his heart and needs to have the barriers separating fellowship removed while the other party has no enmity. You see, God has no hostility toward us. He has always loved man. This is why He became a man, so that as our substitute he could bear the judgement due us and in so doing remove every barrier that our sin had erected between himself and us. God never needed to be reconciled; man is the one who needs it.

As the Scripture puts it, “...God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them...”, for “he made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:19, 21).

It doesn’t seem like an even exchange; He gets our sin and we get His righteousness. But there you have it. It was God’s incomparable plan to reconcile man back into fellowship with Him. This is why God can say in effect to all who receive Christ, “you are now holy and blameless in my sight” (Colossians 1:22; Ephesians 1:4). Can you think of another human being, including yourself, who views you as totally holy and blameless? I can’t! Yet in God’s eyes we are already perfect; not will be, but are!

This is not a status which is given on a temporary basis while we try to become worthy of it as Christians. Once God puts us into union with His Son, we become clothed with His righteousness and from then on God sees us as holy and blameless because that’s the way He views Jesus Christ. Experientially we may be quite imperfect, but our acceptance in God’s eyes is never based on how we perform, but rather on the fact that we are ‘IN’ Christ and that God accepts Him perfectly.

Knowing these liberating facts and counting them true on a moment-by-moment basis is the most important factor in living a life pleasing God. You can’t help but respond with love and obedience to someone who loves and accepts you.

Now Satan is dedicated to keeping Christians from finding out what I’ve just told you, and he’s done a pretty good job in the Christian world today. He lets them have a little taste of victorious living and then he moves in on them with his artillery. He will get them to fail God and get their eyes on themselves. After a series of failures, Satan gets them into a pattern that I have called “the sin syndrome”.

THE SIN SYNDROME

First, we knowingly sin. The inevitable result, if we don’t relate the sin to the Cross is that we develop guilt. And guilt always leads to estrangement. There’s the syndrome: sin, guilt, estrangement.

Now man can’t live with guilt. So he tries to deal with guilt in one of two ways – both of them wrong.

If he is the type who doesn’t have a particularly sensitive conscience, he tries to justify himself. He makes excuses and offers valid reasons why he did something:

“It was only a little lie, and it was easier on everyone involved.”
“After all, the government spends my tax money on things I don’t agree with anyway.”
“But we really love each other, and everyone is doing it.”

When we justify our actions the result will be a feeling of loss of fellowship with God, because deep down inside we know that we haven’t been honest with ourselves or God. We sense we have offended God by our deviousness. And when we feel that God has been offended, then we will also feel estranged from God. Remember, God isn’t mad, but we think He is.

Another way man deals with guilt and it’s equally wrong, is to condemn himself. He sins over and over in the same area, guilt sets in, and then he begins the self-condemnation trip.

Satan loves to get his hands on one of these “sensitive” Christians. With no trouble at all, he can get them to feel like no-good worms before God. He will convince them they couldn’t possibly expect God to hear them when they pray, and surely He wouldn’t answer their prayers even if He did hear the prayer. He gets their eyes so focused on their shabby Christian lives that they’re sure God couldn’t possibly use them.

Satan just sits back and relaxes when he gets us going on self-condemnation. We’re out of the ball game as far he’s concerned.

At this point you may ask, is there any kind of bona fide guilt in the life of a believer in Christ?
There is what I call “legal” guilt. This is everyman’s curse as he comes into the world. It is his inherited culpability for sin, and this is what Christ removed as a barrier between God and man when he went to the Cross for us. I have a lot more to say about this a little later.

Then there is the “emotion” of guilt. This is what Satan delights in heaping upon believers who feel they have failed God. This kind of guilt is Satan’s tool and has no place in the life of a child of God.

Finally, there is convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit described by the Apostle Paul in Second Corinthians 7:8-9 as “sorrow” which leads to repentance. If the “godly sorrow” caused by the Spirit’s conviction doesn’t lead to repentance or turning around, then it well may go into the second kind of guilt , the emotion of guilt, which is deadly to a Christian’s walk with God.

There is a need to acknowledge to God when we are guilty of sinning, and we freely can if we know for sure that God will keep on loving and accepting us. When we continue to feel un-forgiven after we have acknowledged or confessed our sin, it’s an indication that we have turned our focus away from God’s forgiveness to ourselves. Then we are saying that our sinful weaknesses are more powerful than God’s forgiving power. Either He is not big enough to forgive us or He doesn’t want to forgive us.

In either case, when there is unresolved guilt in the life of a person, he will feel estranged from God. He will not trust God to work in his work through the Holy Spirit and deliver him from the temptations of the flesh and the cunning wiles of Satan. He just won’t come to God for help if he believes God is angry with him.

A Christian caught in the guilt trip will begin to seek to do things for God in the energy of the flesh to appease Him for his sense of guilt. This results in more frustration because, as the Bible says, “...the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the Law of God, for it is not even able to do so” (Romans 8:7).

Listen to this particularly: “If Thou, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou may be feared”. (Psalm 130: 3, 4).

In the original Hebrew the word “mark” meant to keep an itemized account of something – to write it out. David is saying here, “Lord, if You were a Celestial Bookkeeper keeping an itemized account of my sins, I’d be in big trouble!”

What did David learn from God’s dealings with him? He learned that “there is forgiveness with (God) that (He) may be feared.” That word “fear” in Hebrew means to be able to reverently trust someone.

David put his finger on a fantastic truth here, one of the most important things we can ever know about God. If we think God is keeping an itemized account of our sins and holding them against us, we can’t really trust Him; it’s impossible to have a dynamic, bold faith in Him. Why? Because you can only trust someone whom you believe really loves and accepts you completely in spite of all your faults.

Learning what Christ accomplished at the cross is the most important truth you will ever absorb in your lifetime. It should saturate your mind every day.

Counting as true the absolute forgiveness which Christ accomplished at the cross is the foundation of having a power-packed faith. You can’t really respond to God in faith unless you know He has accepted you just as you are, unless you know what it means to be accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6). The Beloved is the title for God’s dear son, Jesus Christ. The acceptance He has for Him, the Son of His love, the beloved one, is the same acceptance He keeps on having for us.

To fail to be accepted completely by God for even one second would mean that somehow we had gotten out of Christ, and that just isn’t possible. He won’t let go of us! Isn’t that great news?

SATAN BLINDS US TO THE CROSS

Satan would like to blind us to all this wonderful truth. In fact, he keeps trying to blind us every day. We may not even realize it, but the number one reason the power of God is short-circuited in our lives is that we have never really learned what the Cross of Christ means on a day-by-day basis. The Cross is the continuing basis of God accepting and forgiving us.

We have all had experiences that we consider “mountain toppers” - times when we experienced the Holy Spirit’s working in our lives in a fresh way.

For a while everything was going great and then, without even really knowing why, things began to weaken us, and we wondered what was wrong.

I’ve gone down this painful road before, and each time I’ve discovered the real problem: I’ve started off on a “guilt trip”. I’ve failed to believe that from God’s perspective that I’m already forgiven for disappointing him; I only need to claim the forgiveness that is already a fact, and need not beg God as if forgiveness were in doubt.

THE BELIEVERS DEFENCE ATTORNEY

The Apostle John, in writing to the new believers of this day, said, “My little children, I am writing these things to you that you may not sin. And if any one sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the world” (1 John 2:1-2).

An advocate means a defence attorney. Why would we need a defence attorney in the presence of God, our Father? Most of us think that it means Jesus Christ defends us against the Father so that He won’t judge us. Is that true? Absolutely not! Because of what Jesus Christ did at the Cross, the Father will never condemn us again.

GOD DOESN’T GET EVEN

Are you ready for this?

God does not punish. Punishment means to “get even”, and God doesn’t do that. He’s already “gotten even” with Jesus Christ for all our sins. God “disciplines” and “training” are interchangeable words. God’s disciplining always has a forward look to it (Hebrews 12:5-13).
When God sees a child of His who continually refuses to depend upon the Holy Spirit to deliver him from his temptations, then, out of deep concern for that child’s well-being and happiness God will begin to train him so that he will come to depend upon God in the future. God knows we are only happy when we are living holy lives. This is true discipline and it has no resemblance to punishment.

Sometimes this discipline may seem grievous, but if we are learning to see everything that comes our way as being permitted by the loving hand of our Heavenly Father, then we can give thanks even for the discipline.

Unfortunately, at this point Satan has taken his toll with many believers. They live in constant fear of punishment for their sins.

Most of us have a few especially gross sins we committed in our past that spook us like the proverbial skeleton in the closet. Whenever some difficulty or calamity hits our lives, we trot the skeleton out and say, “Oh yes, God is getting even with me for ‘that sin’.”

Some live with gnawing fear that lightening is going to strike them or God is going to kill one of their children to get even with them for some sin they committed long ago or for some sin they are involved in at the moment.

God does not deal with us that way. To be sure, adversities are permitted in the believer’s life, but they are designed to teach us to trust God, not to destroy us with vengeance.

BUT WHAT ABOUT....

Now some of you may be saying “all right, if God never punishes us for our sins, what about Galatians 6:7 which says, ‘do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap’?”

This verse is jerked out of context by so many Christians. The verse just before this one says, “And let the one who is taught the Word share all good things with him who teaches” (Galatians 6:6). This context is talking about supporting financially the one who gives himself to studying and teaching the Bible.

This same idea of sowing money for God’s is contained in 2 Corinthians 9:6, “now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully.”

This concept of “whatever a man sows, he shall also reap” is concerned with investing our money in God’s work and the reward or lack of reward for our stewardship.

To apply this passage to God’s method of discipline is to contradict the whole principle of grace with which God now deals with his children. God will not let anyone discipline His children but Himself. He’ll do it in love because He has set Himself free to deal with us in grace.

SATAN, THE OLD GUILT TRIPPER

Satan’s name means “the accuser’’. He is referred to as the accuser of our brethren (Revelations 12:10) Jesus Christ doesn’t have to defend you against the Father; instead he defends you against Satan, before the Father. In Hebrews 7:24-25 we have these encouraging words: “but He (Jesus Christ), on the other hand, because he abides forever, holds his priesthood permanently. Hence also He is able to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.”

According to this fantastic promise of assurance once we believe in Christ as Saviour, it is impossible to be lost again or unforgiven. For a child of God to become lost, Christ would have to stop interceding for him. The promise is that “he is able to save forever those who draw near to God through Him.” “Forever” is a very long time.

Jesus Christ himself promised, “I will never desert you, nor will ever forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Thank God that “He always lives to make intercession for us,” and because of that we can “draw near with confidence to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16)

After Satan accuses us before God and doesn’t make any headway there, he begins to accuse our consciences. He’ll get us into a hopeless treadmill: sinning, vowing we won’t do it again, trying not to sin, and then sinning again.

Here is the way it works:

First, he’ll start working on an area of weakness. Every Christian has at least one area where he is especially vulnerable. We still have the old sin nature in us which can tempt us, and when we don’t depend upon the indwelling Holy Spirit to overcome temptations, we will sin.

Seeking to be a good Christian we might say, “God, I know I have been wrong: thank you for forgiving me.” Our burden is lifted and everything goes along fine for a while. Then Satan gets us to fall down again in the same area. We hate ourselves for being such an awful Christian, but we accept his forgiveness and keep moving - only we’re feeling a little guilty about having so little will power to live for God.

Pretty soon Satan will get us to sin again in the same area, and this time we’re feeling so unworthy that we promise, “God, if you’ll just forgive me one more time, I vow I won’t do this again.”

At this piece of news, Satan and his demon hordes let out a rousing cheer of victory. He has us right where he wants us—on the sin treadmill.

We try hard to please God, only we do it in the power of the flesh. The harder we try, the more we fail. The more we fail, the more we vow not to do it again.

Then Satan steps in and says accusingly, “Too bad! God won’t forgive you this time. You’ve had it. There’s no more grace for you.” Or if he sees that we’re too smart to fall for that extreme line of reasoning, he’ll say, “God may forgive you, but he can’t forget how unreliable you are. You’ll never be able to be used by God as fully as before.” It’s that old “bird with the broken wing will never fly so high again” routine.

Wham! You’re wiped out! You forget that the issue is not will God forgive you, but will you believe that he has forgiven you and trust him for the inner strengthening to turn from sin.
I’m not trying to teach that we can go out and sin and have no conscience about it, so don’t get up-tight about that.

The Holy Spirit will faithfully convict a believer of sin so that he can claim forgiveness and continue to believe again. But God does not want us to dwell on our sins, but rather on our forgiveness. If your focus is continually on yourself, then you cannot be “Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus” (Hebrews 12:2, Amplified Bible).

When you finally understand what Jesus Christ accomplished at the cross, you realize that God never stops forgiving you, even while you’re in the process of sinning, although you yourself cannot appreciate the comfort of the forgiveness while you’re sinning.

When Christ died on the cross, how many of your sins were future? Every one of them.

I used to think that when I accepted Christ had died for my sins up to that point, but from that point on I’d just have to confess them as I did them or else I wasn’t forgiven. That’s a perilous position to be in because you’re never quite sure if you’ve confessed all your sins, and there just might be one or two that God is holding against you.

One day I realized what the all in Colossians 2:13 meant: “And when you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he made you alive together with him, having forgiven us all our transgressions.”

The verb translated “having forgiven” means something which happens at a point of time that doesn’t have to be repeated. A final act. In God’s mind, how many does that all mean? How many of our sins did God see when He judged them in Jesus Christ on the cross?
The answer is all!

GOD SEES THE WHOLE PARADE OF LIFE

God is looking at our lives as a helicopter pilot would look down at a parade. If we’re standing on a corner watching a parade, we see the beginning of the parade, each segment passing by, and then we see the end of it. We see consecutively. But God, like the pilot, sees the whole parade at one time. That’s the way God sees your life: your past, present and future is all in the now with Him. When you place faith in Jesus Christ as your Saviour, God has already seen (back in A.D. 33) your life go by like a parade. He took your whole life and the sin and guilt of it and put it all on Jesus Christ.

So when you believe in Jesus Christ as Saviour, how many sins has God forgiven you? Not just those you have committed up to that point, but those from your whole lifetime. He couldn’t accept you into a relationship with Himself at all unless He could forgive you for the whole thing.
This doesn’t mean that God condones sinning in the life of a believer – far from it. It means He has set Himself free to be ready to work in us the moment we see that we’ve sinned and acknowledge it and accept His forgiveness.

First John 1:9 says, “if we keep on confessing our sins, He is faithful and righteous, to have cleansed us from all unrighteousness” (literal translation of the Greek verb tenses).The Bible never tells a believer after the cross to ask forgiveness. It’s already a settled fact with God, and He just wants us to claim what is already true.

In first John 1:9 the word “confess” means to agree with someone about something; in this case to agree with God about our sins. But I can’t agree with God about His attitude toward my sins until I see clearly what His attitude is.

Guilt is the most crippling disease in the world today!

Psychiatrists and doctors say that unresolved guilt is the number one cause of mental illness and suicide. Over half of all hospital beds are filled with people who have emotional illnesses. The greatest therapy they could possibly have would be to find out that God loves them and has made an all - encompassing forgiveness available to them in Jesus Christ.

We don’t have to go to a psychiatrist to get the answer for guilt. Jesus Christ provided the only real answer to guilt some two thousand years ago.

I don’t want you to suffer from crippling guilt like this. I want you to be able to release the power of God in your life day by day, moment by moment - to be set free from a guilt complex and be able to acknowledge to God, “Yes, Lord, I’m guilty, but I thank I’ve been forgiven, forever!”
Then turn and believe that the Spirit of God will work in your life right now. You don’t have to wait until you are worthy of it or earn it.

Here’s a passage that thrills me every time I read it - it never gets old. “Having cancelled out the certificate of debt, consisting of decrees against us and which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross” (Colossians 2:14).

God isn’t angry with you - no matter how much you’ve let Him down. He has utterly forgiven you any offences toward Him. The only thing that grieves God now is for His children to feel alienated toward Him when He cares for them so much. He loved you more than His only begotten Son, and He proved that by permitting that one and only begotten Son, Jesus Christ be sacrificed for your sake! The Father waits for you to return to Him with open arms. He longs to hug you and He cherishes you company. Come to Him, now….and bask in that all encompassing acceptance that He has for you in Christ Jesus. Being able to do so, on a moment to moment basis, is the secret of a truly victorious Christian life.

(These thoughts are excerpted with some modifications from the book, ‘The Guilt Trip’ by Hal Lindsey, © 1972 Zondervan)

Drawing the line between needs, wants and luxuries

Some things we ‘need’, some things we ‘want’, and some things are ‘luxuries’.

First let us define the terms: (1) Needs are basic requirements indispensable for our existence. Food, clothing and shelter are the most basic necessities. (2) Luxuries on the other hand are possessions or facilities desirable for comfort or enjoyment, but are not indispensable. We can live without them. (3) Wants are desires or wishes. They may be rightful, wrong or misplaced.

Where and how do we draw the line?
The Apostle Paul knew how to live on both sides of whatever line that could be drawn. He said ‘I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.’ (Philippians 4:12) He further instructed those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God. At they same time he acknowledged that God richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. (1Timothy 6:17). These verses are the guiding principles. Let me illustrate. I have no problem travelling as a standing passenger in an unreserved compartment of a rushed train. But if I do have the choice and the money I may even opt to travel by the Air Conditioned Chair Car. Doing so may give me the much needed time and comfort of doing some reading or preparations for my next preaching assignment. Or it may just give me the much needed rest that my body needs before going full throttle again when reach my destination. For many of us now-a-days ‘time’ is a far more precious commodity than ‘money’ because time is not a renewable resource. We are to be good stewards of our resources. So ultimately we make a spiritually expedient choice taking into consideration various factors.

Who is to draw the line?
Needs should be defined by ‘use’. One person’s ‘need’ may be another person’s ‘luxury’. So we have to decide for ourselves what is for us a ‘need’ and what is a ‘luxury’. And when we have done so in the most expedient manner we would neither be an offence to the ministry or to another. He who is spiritual judges (evaluates) all things, yet he himself is judged by no one. (1Corinthians 2:15)

Can we draw lines for others?
Why do you draw the lines (judge) for your brother? Or also why do you despise (look down upon) your brother for having drawn a line that is different from yours? All of us shall stand before the judgment seat of Christ. (Romans 14:10)

Are we to judge the lines others have drawn?
Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. But he will stand, for God is able to make him stand. (Romans 14:4)

Ultimately what decides the rightness or wrongness of a ‘want’ is the motive behind that desire or wish. Is it to glorify God? Is it to enhance ones own status or position in society? Is it simply an act of self indulgence? Is it merely a show of extravagance? Is it hedonistic? (Hedonism is the belief that pleasure is the highest good and ultimate aim of all of mankind’s pursuits). Each one of us will have to answer to ourselves before God.

Our ‘wants’ must be subject to our ‘means’. Never should it be necessary for us to live on borrowed money, except in unanticipated emergencies. As our ‘means’ (income) increases our ‘wants’ (not necessarily our ‘needs’) tend to increase. If there are certain possessions that we own but haven’t used for the past one year, we really do not ‘need’ them. It is good do an exercise of annual stock taking and give away those unneeded possessions. Jesus Christ taught: ‘Watch and keep yourselves from covetousness. For a man's life is not in the abundance of the things which he possesses’. (Luke 12:15)

(This article written by me was originally published in Our Contact, Magazine of the Union of Evangelical Students of India – Kerala in 2008)

Celebrating Differences

I was born and brought up as a Non Resident Indian. My wife, Soly, was born and brought up in conservative rural Kerala. I am comfortable with English. Soly prefers Malayalam. So our conversations are almost always bilingual. I like to talk systematically, rationally and logically. Soly rightly believes that the rules of diplomatic apologetics need not apply on husband-wife conversations. My biological clock is such that I am most alive and kicking from 9 pm onwards. I could go on doing productive work well beyond mid night. But I wake up late. Soly, on the other hand is the early to bed and early to wake type. While she would be up very early in the morning, going full throttle on routine household chores, I would be snoring off to glory! I like fresh salads and boiled vegetables. Soly likes those foods which have been cooked laboriously with coconut fried, ground and made into a paste. I enjoy soft melancholic instrumental music. When Soly hears that music she would ask: who had died for there to be so much of mourning in the house! I operate in such a manner that I am always very early for an appointment. Soly believes in Japanese style ‘just in time’ or German style ‘before it’s too late’ arrivals. I believe that the tooth paste tube is to be pressed from bottom up. Soly believes it’s the fat portion of the tube has been specifically designed to be pressed! And so it can go on and on… the differences between us are plenty, but we are married 20 years now and still going strong!

Whether a couples differences are hereditary, cultural, environmental or Gods design doesn’t really matter much. What does matter is that the two marriage partners learn to accept the differences in order to have a harmonious marriage relationship. Each difference is really quite minor in and of itself, but as the differences accumulate they often become sources of irritation. Many people seem to feel that differences in marriage are simply to be endured. In fact, “incompatibility” is one of the most frequent excuses for divorce.

What we would like you to do is to sit down with your wife or husband and list all the differences you have between you. Then have a meeting with the Lord Jesus Christ when you present your lists to Him. Thank Him for making your mate so different, so he or she can be a completer to you by adding strengths you don’t have. When you celebrate the differences, your marriage will take on a whole new meaning, and conflicts over differences will begin to fade away as you accept each other right where you are. Give up the old game of trying to bring about change in your spouse. There is only one person that you can change and that’s none other than yourself! Let us enjoy and celebrate the differences!

(This article was written by me as Chairperson, Regional Executive Team, Urban India Ministry, Kerala for its News Letter in 2008)