Saving your face on Facebook

Origins of Facebook

Facemash – that was how it all started on October 28, 2003. The website was invented by a Harvard student, Mark Zuckerberg, and three of his classmates. It was inspired by Zuckerberg’s sense of humour as a type of game for the students of Harvard University. The website allowed visitors to compare two student pictures side-by-side and let them choose who was “hot” and who was “not”. However, the website was shut down by Harvard executives a few days after it opened. Mark Zuckerberg faced charges of violating copyrights, breach of security, and violating individual privacy for stealing the student pictures that he used to populate the website. He later faced expulsion from Harvard University for his wrong actions. However, at the end, all the charges were dropped. In January 2004, Mark Zuckerberg began writing the code for a new website, known as 'thefacebook'. By June 2004, Facebook was incorporated and moved its base of operations to Palo Alto, California. The company dropped ‘The’ from its name after purchasing the domain name facebook.com in 2005 for US $ 200,000.

Present Status

Today, Facebook is undoubtedly one of the most popular social networking sites with over 800 million monthly active users according to their own statistics. Over 350 million of these participants are accessing Facebook through their mobile phones. Since the initial website was created, Facebook has changed its formatting many times and revamped the overall appearance of people's individual profiles. Most recently it has introduced a completely new type of profile called Timeline. This essentially turns user profiles into a visual timeline of your life complete with all photos, events birthdays and friendships. Facebook continuously changes its formatting to suit it's users and will continue to do so.

Advantages and Disadvantages

Facebook has helped to transcend the barriers of distance and the lack of time in socializing. Facebook is a great way of keeping in touch with friends, reconnecting with long-lost buddies and making new friends. Facebook reminds us of birthdays and anniversaries. Facebook is preferred for speedy spread of information – be it on marriage, travel abroad, new addition to the family or even mood swings. Like all other social networking sites, Facebook makes it easier to join communities that share common likes and dislikes. Facebook has served to mobilize people to rally behind causes both good and bad. Facebook has often taken the role of an alternate media especially in countries where there are curbs on free speech. Facebook profiles with photo albums have almost replaced the age of hard copy matrimonial biodata exchanges. Even though Facebook serves numerous advantages, it also proves to have certain disadvantages as well. It is quite obvious that a trade off is happening between the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook. While Facebook increases the communication and connectivity between friends and the online community it also increases the risk of addiction, procrastination, dereliction from the more important duties of life and makes it easier for others to stalk a user especially when mere acquaintances are labeled as friends.  Some use Facebook as a means to spew venom on people they hate.  Most are unaware that doing so is a criminal offence punishable with up to three years in jail and Rs.1 lakh in fine. One must be aware that Facebook names can be created falsely, and profiles fabricated. Regardless of the above disadvantages, Facebook is here to stay with thousands joining it every day.

State of the Net Report

Consumer Reports surveyed 2,000 active Facebook members, and spoke with more than a dozen security experts, who looked over individual Facebook pages to find serious privacy problems. These are some of their findings:

Some people are sharing too much. Projections suggest that 4.8 million people have used Facebook to say where they planned to go on a certain day (a potential tip-off for burglars). 4.6 million discussed their love life on their wall. 2.6 million discussed their recreational use of alcohol on their wall.

Some don't use privacy controls. Almost 13 million users said they had never set, or didn’t know about, Facebook’s privacy tools. And 28 percent shared all, or almost all, of their wall posts with an audience wider than just their friends.

And problems are on the rise. Eleven percent of households using Facebook said they had trouble last year, ranging from someone using their log-in without permission to being harassed or threatened. That projects to 7 million households — 30 percent more than last year.

To read the full Consumer Reports study, go to:

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine/2012/06/facebook-your-privacy/index.htm

The Need for Caution

It is fun and useful to share information on Facebook, but access to that information is not as limited as you think. We must assume responsibility for everything that we post or upload. People have a tendency to share too much about their lives on their Wall, Timeline or whatever Facebook interface they might prefer. We must be careful not to put too much information about our personal lives on Facebook as we may in the process be endangering ourselves. We must protect ourselves from online threats and cybercriminals. Seriously, we have to be careful and need to learn how to conduct ourselves in Facebook.

We also need to know that what we post on Facebook can sometimes cost us a job. Facebook is not private. Employers and - more importantly - potential employers are good at spying on your profile. Never post anything negative about your employer: It has a way of getting back to them. If you think it is safe to simply cleanup your profile before you start job hunting, think again, because there are archiving websites that make searchable copies of websites and then store the copies forever.

If you ever want to close your Facebook profile, deactivate it instead of shutting it down altogether. Deleting an account can take up to a month, and information can remain in Facebook's database for up to 90 days. Deleting the account makes it completely inaccessible, while deactivating allows you to re-visit it if you want.

If you are new to Facebook ask yourself:

Should I fill out the entire profile?

How much do others need to know about me, such as my sexual orientation, if I am in a relationship, or what my interests are? These questions should be filled out from the perspective of how the person wants to represent oneself at a job interview. It is exciting to be a part of others lives through the Facebook, but it is also important to ask what would be the impact when a prospective job hunter or matrimonial search investigator goes through your profile.

How will I decide who my friends will be?

Some may request you to be their online friend. Do you know them through a reliable source? It is not wise to trust someone in the net whom you have not met or at least do not know through someone you can trust. Some of these others whom you want to add as friends may have questionable material on their profiles, such as photos of them drinking underage, what will be the impact on your testimony? What would happen if one uploads an inappropriate photograph or belongs to an inappropriately named Facebook group? What conclusions would one make about the company you keep? 

Should I join any of the online communities/groups?

Some students may ask you to be a part of some of their groups, which might be groups made up for fun. Once again, think about how you would like to represent yourself professionally and what the advantages and disadvantages to joining these groups are.

What can I do to keep myself safe?

Here are some security tips that I recommend every Facebook user consider: check your Facebook privacy default settings and make sure you are comfortable with them. For a first timer who doesn’t understand what all the terms mean, it is better to remain well within the safe zone by adjusting the settings as follows:

Whom do I connect with? Connect only with people you know. Specify: Who can look you up using the email address or phone number you provided? Who can send you friend requests? Who can send you Facebook messages?

Control Your Default Privacy: Limit it to Friends and Not friends of Friends

What's on your mind? Restrict that to Friends

Who can post on your Wall? Make your wall private, meaning for friends only, and set up separate family wall posts, visible by family members only, not all 400 of their "friends." Remember, sharing info with "friends of friends" could expose it to tens of thousands. Check this periodically by viewing your profile while logged out to see if anyone else can see information you want to keep private.

Who can see what others post on your profile? Only Me.

Review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your profile: ON

Who can see posts you've been tagged in on your profile? Close Friends

Review tags friends add to your own posts on Facebook: On

Who sees tag suggestions when photos that look like you are uploaded? No One

Ads, Apps and Websites: Even if you have restricted your information to be seen by friends only, a friend who is using a Facebook app could allow your data to be transferred to a third party without your knowledge. As a new comer it is better that you can turn off all Platform apps. But remember, you will not be able to use any games or apps yourself. Also set limits to the Audience for Past Posts.

Take care of the content that you post: You must assume that everything you post will be available to the general public for the rest of your digital life. Many of us are inadvertently giving away too much information about ourselves, including telling the world when we are not going to be home. Remember: the people you share with can always share your information with others, including apps. Finally, think twice before posting photos that you will regret later. Remember these photos have a way of lasting forever online.

Don't click on strange links, even if they're from friends, and notify the person if you see something suspicious. Don't click on friend requests from unknown persons. If you come across a scam, report it so that it can be taken down. Don’t download any applications you aren’t certain about. When using Facebook from places like hotels and airports, text “otp” to 32665 for a one-time password to your account. 

Conclusion

We are the Facebook Generation and Facebook has changed the way we interact with each other. Facebook has significantly enhanced the quality of our relationships. But if we do not trod with care we may even be inviting trouble for ourselves. We must learn how to conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner and use the marvels of technological advancements for the glory of God. Do you share too much information on Facebook? When was the last time you read through your privacy settings? Next time you log in check out to see if you are well within the safe zone. Happy and Safe Facebooking!

The Last Chapter - Shalom Journal

18^th April 2012

It was on this very day, 100 years ago that the Titanic sank.

George Thomas (GT), Shalom’s Dad wrote an email to his inner circle of friends: ‘Shalom is very weak and not in a position to lie down in bed due to severe wheezing. For the last one month she was not able to sleep at all...while she sits, she has to bend forward and rest her head on some pillows. Sometimes it is very difficult to see her posture especially when she is not able to breathe properly. Sheena is always with her and attends to her. But our Lord has filled each one of us with the PEACE which transcends all understanding.’

20^th April 2012

3 am: Sissana Rajesh, UESI staff worker for Thrissur who was attending the UESI Staff Conference at Highfield, Kottagiri is jolted awake from her sleep by a dream on transport arrangements for Shalom’s funeral. She woke up her husband Rajesh and urged him to call up Sheena, Shalom’s mom to find out what Shalom’s condition was. But Rajesh declined to do so at that odd hour in the middle of the night. At dawn, Senu Sebastian, a former ICEU colleague of Shalom was disturbed in her spirit regarding Shalom and called up her father requesting him to pray for her. It seemed evident that the unseen but real world of angels was already buzzing with activity to make arrangements on heavens shore for the arrival of the day’s guest of honour.  Repercussions of their activity were being felt by the saints on earth. 

6 am: GT left home for Kochi Airport to catch the flight to Nagpur: The call of duty.

12 noon to 1.15 pm: Sheena and Steve (Shaloms’ brother) took Shalom to Jubilee Medical College Hospital, Thrissur for what seemed to them to be just another hospital visit to ease her breathing. They waited in the Out Patient department for their turn. Shalom was administered with oxygen. After which, the doctor suggested that Shalom be moved to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) to stabilize. Shalom was shifted in a wheelchair with Sheena following behind. Shalom was calm and silent in composure all the while. As they waited for the ICU doors to open, Shalom’s arms abruptly dropped limp and her head drooped to one side even as Sheena rushed her hand to support her drooping head asking: ‘What happened, Molae?’

That was all...Shalom had gone...there was no struggle...it was a peaceful transition from the palm of her mother to the everlasting arms of her Heavenly Father.

1.30 pm: Cell Phone networks were jammed with an SMS that had gone viral nationwide and even internationally within the UESI community: ‘Shalom has finished her struggles in this world and gone to her heavenly abode...’ 

2 pm: Nimmi Christudas was despatched to GTs home to set the house in order before the body was brought in from the hospital. Shalom’s younger sister Serin told Nimmi Aunty: ‘I am waiting for Amma and Shalom chaechi to return from hospital so that I can have lunch with them.’ Nimmi, who had only recently witnessed the death of her own beloved mother gently tried to break the news of Shalom having gone beyond, but Serin, refused to accept the reality and went into angry denial asking: ‘How can it be when Shalom had received healing from the Lord?’ Even as the body was brought into the house, Serin refused to come out of her room to saying, ‘I will come only to see my chaechi with whom I can talk and play.’

21 April 2012

Friends, relatives, well-wishers, sympathizers and members of the UESI community had converged from all corners of the nation for the last rites. It was an unusually large gathering, but the atmosphere of the funeral proceedings was marked by a distinct SHALOM-NESS.

Not everybody expected that GT and Sheena would have had the mental makeup to address the audience and but when they did, everyone was all ears to hear what they had to say.

GT said: While many may see Shalom’s demise as untimely, I see it as God accomplishing His will and purpose in His time. God gave Shalom a life and she came to know and honour her Creator God while she was still in her youth. She suffered much but without complains. We will see Shalom again. She will be there at the pearly gates of heaven to receive us when our time to leave this earth comes. If you have put your personal trust in Jesus Christ, you too will be saved and you too can meet Shalom on the eternal shores.  No matter what happens in life nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.

Sheena said: God is good. Praise be to God. Parents do not have the right of ownership over their children. Children are gifts of God given to parents for a time. God, who owns them, has the sovereign right to call them back to His immediate presence as and when He pleases. Shalom had longed to complete her graduation along with her classmates.  At this time when most of her classmates have been suitably placed, Shalom too has received her blessed eternal placement. God makes no mistakes.

 
Serin on her part picked one of Shalom’s favourite hairclips and solemnly clipped it onto Shalom’s hair. It 
was her own sweet way of paying her last tributes to chaechi. She also reminded Shalom of the chocolates she had hidden beneath the mattress.

Shalom knew well the limitations of medical science and was confident of the better things that awaited her in the real world beyond this visible world. The fortitude with which she and her parents had been able to look at fallen world effects will remain for all of us who witnessed their story unfold before our eyes, an example par excellent on how to live in this world that is groaning for release from the painful consequences of sin. Shalom has gone to her home where there is no pain, no sorrow and no suffering to begin a new and glorious chapter of her journal that has no end. 

Dr. George Kovoor who had been involved with Shalom’s palliative care exhorted the gathering saying: ‘We plan for our future from the context of our present, but God plans for our present from the context of our future, which is already known to Him. We are often more concerned about caring for the outer man which will one day die and decay. We ought to be more concerned about caring for the inner man who will live forever and ever.’

In the liturgy of the Orthodox Church is a prayer: ‘Deliver me from sudden death’. For Shalom this prayer was answered and so she, GT and Sheena were well prepared emotionally, spiritually and mentally for the ultimate appointment. You and I may not be as fortunate, therefore be reminded of the brevity of life and count each day as a gift of God. ‘Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come...’ (Ecclesiastes 12:1); ‘Prepare to meet your God...’ (Amos 4:12).

Kutrus Memorial

Kutrus Memorial

Christella with Joash and Vino Cheryan

Written by me with inputs from Christella and Vino Cheryan

At one corner of my large but messy study room is a rather unusual flower vase – a two feet tall conical cane basket woven by tribal artisans from Jharkhand, capped as if it had no head, with a disproportionately small bunch of bright yellow flowers – this is Kutrus Memorial. It was placed in my home by Cinni (Christella) and Vino Cheryan (Active members of the Thiruvananthapuram EGF, now pursuing Post Doctoral studies in USA) on the first death anniversary of Kutrus...their first child who was allowed to live and die with dignity...

Vino had attended my session on abortion at the Premarital Conference at Eddapally, Kochi. After marriage both Vino and Cinni sat through my session on abortion for a second time during a Family Conference at Highfield, Kotagiri. They were fully convinced that human rights begin at conception, that the unborn foetus had the right to live and that abortion was tantamount to nothing less than murder.

God in His sovereignty choose to test them. Here below, Cinni recalls their experience in her own words:

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My husband, Vino and I had waited for this appointment with the doctor. I shivered when the Lady Doctor spread the cold gel on my skin and moved the tiny probe of the ultrasound around my belly. "Here are the little legs. See them?" The doctor went on blabbering as she seemed to recognise the other body parts from black and white computer images that made little sense to me. But all of a sudden, the doctor grew silent.

I asked, "What's wrong?"

“Your baby has Anencephaly."

“I don't understand.” I said.

The doctor pointed to the screen and said, "Do you see the head here?"  "The top part of the head is missing. Your baby has anencephaly—which means the brain never developed."

Vino stared back at me in a blank expression of shock. "How will our baby live without a brain?" he asked.

The doctor hesitated. "Many are stillborn. Some live after birth for a few minutes, but there's nothing you can do."

I held the sides of my abdomen and cried. "But baby kicks all the time and I've taken my vitamins and eaten healthy foods." I reached for Vino's hand.

The doctor handed me a box of tissues. "There's nothing you've done wrong. You didn't cause this problem, nor could you have prevented it. It's a genetic disposition."

"What will baby look like when born?" Vino asked.

"Normal except for the sunken top of the head. It'll be open and hollow where the brain would have been."

I couldn't talk. Vino held me as his tear-filled eyes searched to comfort mine.

"What do we do now?" Vino asked the doctor.

"We can schedule an appointment for you to deliver the baby next week. We'll induce labour and abort the baby so you won't have to carry it for the remaining term."

Vino put his hand on my shoulder, and with firm voice simply replied:  "I'm sorry."

I don't remember getting up from the examining table or walking out the door to go home. We went home and prayed for guidance and decided to get a second opinion. Did I have to deliver now? What was the risk of carrying the baby full term?

Godly believers in the medical fraternity assured us, "Yes, your baby may have anencephaly, but there's no more risk in carrying the baby to full term than there is for carrying a healthy baby to full term. You don't need to go in for an abortion now."

We prayerfully decided to let God determine the birth date instead of going in for an abortion. We wanted baby to be a part of us for as long as possible. We lovingly named our yet to be born foetus Kutrus.

My abdomen grew and I smiled at Kutrus’ movements. I sang to Kutrus as I caressed my abdomen. I felt sad that Vino couldn't experience the sacred little tingles that tightened my bond with Kutrus.

There were times I prayed for a miracle that baby would be born healthy, but realistically I knew I needed to accept the probability that this wouldn't happen.

"Why can't the doctor operate and give Kutrus a new brain?" I asked, but I also told myself: "Doctors can't perform that kind of surgery" Vino would chip in to say: "It's sad, but after Kutrus is born, Kutrus will go to heaven to be with God."

Eventually, I began to pray that our little bundle would be born alive, for just a few minutes, so I could hold Kutrus in my arms while he took his last breath. I waited for God to decide his natural birth date.

Two months before my due date I went into labour.

"I don't want anything for pain." I told the doctor as I lay on the birthing table. I secretly believed that delivering Kutrus without drugs would increase his chances of living for a few minutes. My dream came true. Kutrus lived for few minutes—long enough for me to hold him and feel his warm bare flesh against mine. He didn't cry, but his little arms and legs moved slowly and peacefully.

God graciously allowed us to say goodbye to our newborn baby.

‘He is a heavenly citizen and we have to send him with honour’ said Mr.  James Varghese, IAS even as the Brethren Assembly graciously made arrangements for the funeral.

When I returned home from the hospital, I roamed the house in painful tears. The emptiness was hard to let go, but in waiting for his birth, we had learned to respect life—however short it may be...

The support we received from the Thiruvananthapuam EGF and especially from Mr. George K. Mathew and his wife Smitha Chaechi was immense.

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Exactly one year later, when Kuturs Memorial was placed in my home, it helped to bring closure for a couple who had chosen to walk the narrow path. They look back with joy at that journey travelled with much agony and pain. Today Cinni and Vino have been blessed with a healthy baby boy whom they have named Joash – a name chosen to give expression to parental aspirations of growing up the boy to take a Godly stand in a world where values are at stake. (Read 2 Kings 11, 12)

The few minutes of life that Kurus lived in this world were not in vain. The story of how Cinni and Vino chose to take the pregnancy forward full term had already challenged many. Through this article Kutrus’ story will stir the hearts of a 1000 readers.  

Dear reader, you have lived long enough to read this article, but when is it that your life stirred the conscience of over a thousand people? Kutrus lived only for few minutes, but his life was worth living....and his simple memorial in my home continues to speak...a solemn reminder of a life well lived in a world where values are at stake.